Back in January, I shared some of the leadership teachings from L. David Marquet’s Turn the Ship Around!: A True Story of Turning Followers into Leaders.  Apparently, Basecamp CEO Jason Fried has a similar take on Marquet’s book. If you haven’t read the book yet and you’re in a leadership role at school, at work, in a community organization, etc., check out Fried’s post for a great overview. And if his write-up grabs you, consider adding Turn the Ship Around! to your summer reading list.

Here’s the link that I mistakenly left out of today’s post about Simon Sinek’s Leaders Eat Last. It will take you to the referenced summary and to the video with his talk at Microsoft.

I’ve referenced Simon Sinek’s wonderful book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action and his corresponding TED Talk several times here (here’s a listing of those posts). But I found his follow-up work, Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t, harder to get through. His message was relevant and insightful, but I often felt as if he were spending the entire book simply drumming home the same 4-5 concepts.

Thankfully, I came across this article summarizing the main points of the book as Sinek relayed them in a presentation to a team at Microsoft. His suggestions are deceptively simple—put your people first, tell them the truth, trust them to make good decisions, etc. But if it were actually that easy and obvious, why don’t more leaders do it?

If you work in any kind of leadership capacity—whether you’re a student, a parent, or a counselor—I recommend you consider his suggestions. And if they resonate with you, then give his book a try. You might find the same frustrations with it that I did, but the message is still important. And if you went into the book knowing what the takeaways are intended to be, you could spend more time thinking about how to apply the lessons, and less time wondering if you’re missing something.

In most professions, much of the work takes place behind the scenes. You don’t see how many hours your favorite athlete spends practicing or working out. You don’t see all the rehearsals your favorite actor or actress completes. You don’t see how many medical journals your doctor reads, how many hours a chef spends perfecting her dishes, or the training a pilot must complete before he can take passengers airborne.

High school counselors are no different.

Students, you likely see your counselor only a few times a year, maybe for an occasional college planning meeting, an application workshop, or some other school event in which she participates.

But you don’t see how much time counselors spend trying to keep up with all the changes in college admissions. You don’t see them participating in counselor message boards, attending conferences, or reaching out to colleagues to compare best practices.

You don’t see them poring over admissions data from last year’s class, preparing letters of recommendation, organizing presentations, writing newsletters, updating the information on the school website, or placing calls to—and fielding calls from—colleges.

You don’t see them organizing visits from college reps, maintaining a library of college-related information, or managing the application-related support systems they use in their office.

And most importantly, you don’t see the multitude of non-college-related responsibilities that most high school counselors are expected to be responsible for.

Before you close out the school year, take the time to say thank you to your counselor. If you’ve already adjourned for the summer, drop your counselor an email. Acknowledge that you know how busy they are and how much they’re doing for students, even if you and your classmates don’t always see it firsthand.

The work you don’t see is part of the job, and most counselors I know do it willingly. They work on your behalf, and they deserve your thanks for that work, whether or not you can see it.

I’ve mentioned University of Pennsylvania psychologist Angela Duckworth several times on this blog, with one post referencing her TED Talk on grit, and a second about her Grit Test. Duckworth’s recent New York Times piece reminding college graduates that it takes time to follow your passion is actually applicable for high school students, too.

Families are understandably more concerned than ever about the return on their college investment. They want to know that their kids are going to get jobs when they graduate. And one way many families address that concern is by encouraging their kids to identify their future career, then choose a college and a major accordingly.

I don’t think that approach is entirely misguided. There are lots of kids who are fortunate enough to get a virtual free pass at college, attending without focus or concern for making the most of their time there, only to find that the world isn’t so quick to throw jobs and money at them when they graduate.

But I do worry about asking a seventeen-year-old to decide what she wants to do with her life and then plan her education accordingly. Duckworth’s article is a good reminder that 1) many successful people took time to find what they loved, and 2) most of those people worked hard for—and during—their opportunities that led to those discoveries.

Some high school students can see their future clearly today. Many more cannot. If you’re in the latter category (or the parent of one of those kids), don’t force it. Think about what you enjoy today, where your talents seem to lie today, and what you’re excited to learn about today. Throw yourself into those things. Learn and do as much as you can. The other pieces will fall into place over time, but they are more likely to do so if you’re actively working and learning instead of waiting passively for passion to arrive.

As Duckworth writes, no matter where you go next, you have an opportunity to make the most of where you are now.

Have you ever been in one of those meetings where everyone is so committed to defending their own ideas that the group can’t get anywhere close to making a decision?

Roger Martin, a business consultant and author, recommends this strategy.

Instead of arguing about who is right, consider each idea and ask the question, “What would have to be true for this option to be a fantastic choice?”

Martin has found that when asked this question, people become less entrenched in their own way of thinking and instead will begin to collaborate on the factors that would need to be true for the current option to be the best choice. You can read more about it here.

If you’re part of a club, counseling office, PTA, or any organization where you occasionally need to wrangle opinions and somehow come to a decision, the next time your group can’t seem to move past individuals defending their own ideas, try posing Martin’s suggested question and see if the group changes course.

When I toured UC Irvine (now my alma mater) as an 18-year-old high school senior trying to decide where to go to college, I got to visit the dorms with Rameen, a junior who was working part-time with the housing office. There’s a reason I remember him. Rameen had found his passion—working in a college environment—and he was pursuing it to the fullest. Once I became a college freshman, it was pretty clear that you couldn’t turn around on the UCI campus without bumping into Rameen.

When I attended UCI’s student orientation program, Rameen was one of the volunteers. He was also a resident advisor. He worked at the student bookstore. He interned at the Student Development Office, took a summer internship in DC, was active in his fraternity, and played intramural sports. This guy was everywhere. And you can imagine what his resume looked like when his time in college came to a close.

It didn’t surprise anybody who knew him that after graduation, Rameen went on to get a master’s in public administration and a PhD in higher education administration, with collegiate jobs in student affairs at several colleges along the way.

Today, Rameen is back at UCI…as the Dean of Students and a Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs. He is now directing virtually all of the programs in which he worked or volunteered as a student in college.

Your time in college will be short. And it should involve plenty of fun, friends, road trips, or any other (safe) way you choose to enjoy life surrounded by fellow 18- to 22-year-olds.

But you’ll also be given unprecedented access to opportunities for learning, growth, and responsibility. Where else can you learn and try just about anything that interests you? Where else can you find mentors whose job it is to guide those who want to be guided? Where else can you be put in charge with little to no experience?

Rameen is an example of someone who recognized this. He didn’t sit back and do the bare minimum. He didn’t assume that the world would reward him with his dream job just because he’d gotten a college degree. Rameen used his time in college not only to find his calling, but also to start chasing it. At the end of each academic year, Rameen made sure to have something to show for his time spent there. Four years of that kind of attitude and effort add up.

College may or may not be the time that you find and/or pursue what will become your life’s work. But treat that time as your college life’s work. College isn’t going to come back. There’s no do-over. So what will you have to show for it beyond just doing what was required of you? Will you be able to look back and say that you made use of what was available to you? Are you willing to do your part to extract the maximum value from your four short years?

If you act as if your time in college is both temporary and invaluable, those four years of attitude and effort will add up.

If you bought a four-year, all-inclusive pass to your gym for $15,000, $30,000, or $50,000, would you work out halfheartedly and hope for the best? Or would you squeeze out every opportunity, every personal training session, every spin and Pilates and yoga class that you could?

Just belonging to a gym—even a high-end one—won’t transform you into a fit person. And just enrolling in a college—even a prestigious one—won’t transform you into a successful person.

In both cases, the better the effort, the better the results.

My dad flew 280 missions in Vietnam as a fighter pilot with the Marines Corps. Since then, whenever he’s facing a stressful, uncomfortable, or otherwise undesirable situation, he always says the same thing:

“Hey, at least they can’t send me to war in Vietnam.”

Memorial Day is a good day for perspective. Students, there are plenty of young men and women who joined the armed forces and then never got the chance to do all the things that you’ll soon be doing—going to college, finding a career, starting a family, etc.

You live in a country with the most open and accessible system of higher education in the world. Beyond the comparatively short list of selective schools, it’s actually never been easier to get into college. There are billions of dollars in financial aid and scholarships available. And what you do while you’re in college will always be more important than whether or not you attended a school that tops the rankings list. Life is good.

Appreciate the fact that not everybody gets to do what so many of us take for granted. And today of all days, remember that nothing—nothing—in the college admissions process ever qualifies as a tragedy.

Be thankful for your opportunities, and remember those who sacrificed to preserve them.

Natural leaders—the outgoing, charismatic kids who can seemingly win over just about anyone, from teachers to fellow students—find it easy to demonstrate their impact to colleges. But what if you’re not the outgoing type who wants to stand up and be heard? What if you’re quiet, reserved, or just plain shy? Nobody should have to fundamentally change who they are to get into college. So here are five college planning tips for introverts.

1. Channel your enthusiasm.
Just because you’re introverted doesn’t mean you aren’t passionate about your interests. So channel your enthusiasm in whatever it is that you love. Write the best programming code that you can. Take art classes to improve your skills. Learn to play the pieces of your favorite classical composer. One of our former Collegewise students wrote her essay about the 10th grade summer she spent trying to read as many classic works of literature as possible. She was admitted to nearly all of her colleges. Colleges understand that not everyone is outgoing, and they’re perfectly happy to admit interesting, engaged students who thrive in comparatively solitary pursuits.

2. Engage academically.
One potential admissions challenge for introverts is that they often don’t participate in class discussions. This can make it difficult for teachers to tell just how interested you were in the material, and that can affect your letters of recommendation. So if you can push yourself to put your hand up and offer a comment or question semi-regularly, it will help. You can also approach your teacher before or after class to ask questions or discuss the material. And whenever there’s a class project or any opportunity to do more than sit in class or take a test, bring a little extra oomph. There’s nothing wrong with being the quiet kid in class. Just make sure you don’t come off as the quiet kid in class who would  rather be doing anything else other than learning this subject.

3. Find ways to impact others.
You don’t need to be outgoing to do things that impact other people. Draw cartoons for the school newspaper. Bring your set designing skills to the school play. Build websites for clubs, fix computers for the administration, or write poems for the school literary magazine. Colleges are looking for students who will make contributions to their campus communities. And there are plenty of ways to do that, even for students who don’t necessarily feel comfortable front-and-center.

4. Show that you’ve got some social skills.
It’s one thing to be the quiet, shy type. It’s another, not-so-good thing to be a misanthrope who just can’t get along with people. It doesn’t take much to show that you’re in the first camp, but you’ll need to make the effort to do so. Be nice to your teachers, counselor, and fellow students. Be willing to pitch in and help when someone needs it. And don’t automatically rule out everything that doesn’t let you work in solitude. One of our former students wrote her essay about working the drive-through at a fast food chain where she would stand outside with a headset and take orders from the cars as they passed. She was still introverted, but she was justifiably proud of how much more outgoing she became as a result of that job.

5. Apply to the right colleges.
Maybe you’d like to attend a school where you can easily get personal attention without having to ask for it? Or maybe your introverted self would be happiest blending in at a large university? It’s important for all students to consider the type of college where they could be happy and successful. And there’s no one type of school that fits best with all introverts. Think carefully about your likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. Imagine yourself in college and consider in what kind of environment you’d be most likely to thrive. Then get to work finding those schools—and communicating why they’re a good fit when you apply.