“Building trust requires nothing more than telling the truth.  That’s it.  No complicated formula. For some reason too many people or leaders of organizations fail to tell the truth or opt to spin something to appear that they did nothing wrong.  Again, our primitive brain, evaluating everything in terms of survival, can see through that.  This is why we so often don’t trust politicians or big corporations.  It has nothing to do with politics or big business, per se.  It has to do with the way that politicians and the leaders of corporations choose to talk to us.  Every single one of us should look at our managers or the leaders of the companies we work for and ask ourselves, ‘Would I want to be in a foxhole with you?’  And the managers and the leaders of companies who rely on our hard work should, in turn, ask themselves, ‘How strong is our company if the answer is no?’”

Simon Sinek

Leaders Eat Last: Why some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t

Assumptions work against you in college admissions.  Families who assume that prestigious colleges are inherently better ignore other colleges that could have been good choices.  Families who make assumptions about their likelihood of qualifying for financial aid might ignore colleges that they could have afforded had they actually applied.  A better strategy is to make informed choices rather than assumptions.

Your choice of major works the same way.

You might assume that choosing a pre-professional major like business or accounting will make you more employable after graduation or more successful over your lifetime than studying a liberal arts major.  But if you want to make an informed choice, check out this article in The Atlantic. 

I’m not lobbying for all students to study English or philosophy.  But there are few decisions you make in college that have a greater impact than your choice of major does.  You deserve an informed choice rather than an assumption.   

Paul and I are starting a recruiting project to bring 30-40 counselors to Collegewise this year in 10-15 different markets.  And after discussing today what we need to accomplish in 2014, we were excited, but also overwhelmed.  It’s a mammoth undertaking for two people running a business. We could feel our stress rising along with our energy waning.   So we focused on two specific questions: 

1. What are the things that need to be done first?

2. Of those first items, which pieces and parts can we get done this week?

The answers to #2 are where we will put our time and attention for the next four days.  As soon as we made that decision, we had momentum on our side.  Our focus and energy came back.  We left "overwhelmed" behind and were back to "excited." 

The best way to build momentum is to get something small done quickly.  Small success and quick wins lead to bigger accomplishments.  The more small things you get done, the more control and confidence you have to tackle the bigger challenges. 

Whether you’re starting a research project, reorganizing a department, or taking on a large fundraiser for the PTA, if you feel the sheer magnitude of your project sapping your energy, pick one thing, preferably something directly in your control that you can get done quickly, and focus your energy there.  When you get that first part done well, acknowledge the win and move on to the next part.  Building on your little victories is the path to your big win. 

You can’t replicate other peoples’ college admissions results.   Even if you take the same classes, get the same grades and test scores, and do the same activities as the kid who got into Yale, it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get into Yale, too.  College admissions is a personal process, especially at the more selective schools.  If there were one duplicable, perfect formula for admission, someone would have found and profited from it already. 

But you can replicate the process.

Look at families who have a college admissions process that is full of anxiety.  Many of them have students who are predicating all of their hard work on the hopes of admission to a very small list of highly-selective colleges.    They’re not interested in finding the right schools.  They’re only interested in getting accepted to what they think are the best schools.

Is that the process that you want?

Then look at families who seem to be enjoying the process.  Many of them have students who are working hard, too.  But they’re trusting that their student’s work ethic and character will make her ultimately successful at whatever college she attends.  They know they don’t need an admission from a dream school to validate all that hard work.  They’re making the decision to enjoy this exciting time.

Which of those processes would you prefer?

You can’t choose the outcome, but you get to choose the route to get there.  Watch how other families manage the process and ask yourself, “Which route would I prefer?”  Then feel free to replicate it.

For colleges making requests of applicants, I have a suggestion.  If your request–whether to update information, send an additional letter of rec, or schedule an interview–should in no way be taken as a bad sign, please say so.  Use direct communication like, “Please don’t worry about this,” or “This is not something that you should stress about.” 

Kids and parents feel enormous anxiety around this process, much of it unnecessary.  Anything we all can do to remove unnecessary stress is good for kids, parents and the process. 

Breanne in our Irvine, California office has a creative way to prevent her students from being distracted by incoming calls and text messages during her meetings.

There are times when a person or a project deserves our undivided, uninterrupted attention.  Whether you make a box or just turn your phone off, eliminate the distraction and redirect the attention where it needs to be.