The only post that I repeat year-after-year is my list of 50 suggestions for summer activities. And if the sun is shining here in Seattle (really, it is!), I know it must be time to bring my list back out. So here it is. I hope you find something cheap, interesting, and fun to do, or that you'll forward it along to a high school student who could use some summer suggestions.
“It’s not you, it’s me”
“It’s not you, it’s me” may be a cop-out when you’re breaking up with someone, but when you need help from a teacher, assuming it’s “you” is actually a smart idea.
It’s the difference between:
“None of this makes sense…”
vs.
“For some reason, I’m really having trouble understanding this…”
When you need help, don’t ask in a way that blames the material, the teacher, or any other factor. Assume the problem is you. Not because it’s always your fault, but because you’re more likely to get the help you need when you assume fault rather than assign it.
We’re all in the listening business
According to Seth Godin, good listeners get what they deserve. And it's not just more information; listeners actually gain a competitive advantage because they make speakers better.
Seth's post is worth checking out whether you're a student, parent, teacher or counselor. We're all in the listening business, after all.
Build the relationship
Many of the high school students I meet haven't taken the time to build a relationship with their high school counselor.
If you want to be successful during and after college, you'll need to build relationships with people who can guide or advise you. That means you have to do your part and be someone who can:
1. Recognize people who can help you.
2. Be willing to ask for help.
3. Earn the right to rely on this person by giving back thanks, good work, and regular updates.
While you're in high school, hone these skills by building a relationship with your high school counselor.
If you haven't met your counselor yet, schedule a meeting and introduce yourself. Come prepared with your college-related questions. Then give back to the relationship. Thank your counselor for the advice. Put it to use and do good work. Then make sure to keep your counselor updated on your progress.
If you're sitting back waiting for your counselor to reach out and give you college admissions advice, you're not making the effort to earn real help. Take the first step and see what kind of relationship you can build.
Proposers vs. doers
"I have an idea. What if we did this?"
Sure, it's a start. But it's also too easy. Proposing an idea to your group just to put it out there and see what happens isn't much of a risk. The group often won't share your excitement. Or they'll poke holes in the idea and tell you why it won't work. And when the group doesn't jump on board, you're left with just an idea, one that nobody else seems to care about.
Doers just bypass the proposal.
"Here's what I'm going to try. Who'd like to join me?"
That's a lot different. No asking for permission. No debating or hole-poking. Just the initiative to actually do something and an invitation to bring anyone else along.
Doers tend to get a lot more done than proposers.
Hiding doesn’t stand out
In their efforts to stand out, a lot of college applicants do the opposite–they hide.
If you spend more hours studying for the SAT than you do playing the drums in the marching band, working at a part-time job, or teaching kids at the daycare center how to paint, you're hiding.
Standing out in college admissions means doing something important to you, something that makes an impact. The benchwarmer who loves being on the hockey team and practices like he's about to get the call at any moment, he's standing out.
The student in AP English who isn't afraid to put her hand up to make a comment or ask a question, she's standing out.
The kid who works at Baskin Robbins and gets promoted to be a shift manager, or who coaches Little League baseball, or who fixes all her friends' computers when they crash, those kids are standing out.
There's no one magic formula that will guarantee admission results. But hiding doesn't work. So don't play it safe by trying to guess what colleges want. You'll end up doing the same thing all the hiders are doing. Instead, work hard. Commit yourself to things that are important to you. Take an active interest in your education and in your college future.
Hiding might feel safe. But it's a lot more productive, fun and effective to stand out.
On our way to Boston: Welcome Tim Townley to Collegewise
In the next few months, we'll be opening several Collegewise offices in the Boston area. And I'm excited to announce that we've just hired Tim Townley from Boston University to open and run one of them.
Who's Tim?
Tim got his start as an assistant director of admissions at his alma mater, George Washington University. He spent the last six years as an assistant director with Boston University's admissions office. And in between those roles, he spent a year as a college counselor at the American School in Switzerland. He's also finishing his masters in education at BU now. I'm not sure how he found the time to do it in between reading thousands of applications and adjusting to his role at home as a new father, but he did. Well done, Tim.
Why did we invite Tim to join us?
There's a scene in my favorite movie, Good Will Hunting, when Will first meets his new psychologist and says, "So, I read your book last night." I'm not going to lie–when Tim revealed in our first interview that he'd just finished my book, I was rooting for him. But that's not the (only) reason we hired him. I swear.
Tim doesn't just have a lot of experience–he's obviously taken the time to learn as much as he could in each of those roles. Through several rounds of interviews, he offered up some great insights into the admissions process, how to better advise students, and the role of admissions officers and counselors. He's got plenty of experience speaking in front of crowds, and managing the anxieties of both students and parents. He's an admissions geek like us who's spent his entire professional career learning as much as he can about the process. He never checked out and decided he knew all there was to know. That hunger to learn everything resonates with us. He even wore it well when Paul took him to task for being a Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots fan. He's going to fit in just fine.
Boston, here we come
My favorite part of this new Collegewise chapter with The Princeton Review is finding smart, talented, likeable people to help us open our new offices. We just found another one, and we're excited for Tim to start and to help us bring Collegewise to Boston.
Just (decide to) do it
My work schedule has been in a state of flux for the past week. I was away from my home office for six days training a new counselor in California. I got home on moving day when my wife and I moved to a new home in a different part of town in Seattle. There's no Internet access in our house yet (we have to prove to the cable company that our address is real–we swear, it is!–before they'll hook up our Internet service). So I've been typing posts on my phone or on my laptop at the local coffee shop. I've occasionally posted later in the day than usual, but I haven't missed a day. After over three years, skipping a day now just isn't an option. Every day, I've already decided that I'm going to write another post. The only questions are what to write and when (that day) to write it.
Half of getting things done is just deciding that you're going to do them. Not deciding that you'll do it if you have time, or if nothing else gets in the way. There's never enough time. Something else can always get in the way, especially if you haven't decided that something is important enough to just get it done.
Whether it's your French homework, visiting your high school counselor, or writing your college essay, start by just deciding that you're going to do it. Once the decision is made, you become more bulletproof to distractions and excuses. There are no more options, only actions.
And there's always room in clubs, organizations, colleges and professions for people who just know how to get things done.
Where to focus
The best results come from focusing your efforts on the parts of a process that you can control. You can’t control the final grade your Spanish teacher gives you, how many spots are available in AP chem, or whether or not your dream college admits you.
But you can control your effort you’re willing to exert. You can control your attitude towards to process, how willing you are to look beyond prestigious colleges, and your confidence to know that a test score or a decision from one college doesn’t have to determine your success in life.
Most college admissions anxiety and frustration comes from trying to control things you don’t get to control. When you feel it happening to you, refocus on those things that you, not somebody else, gets to decide.
Don’t let your parents call
Admissions officers expect that prospective students will have questions. But asking parents to call the admissions office for you doesn’t send a very good message to the college about your maturity and preparedness for college life. You’re going to college—your parents aren’t. Colleges like students who show initiative and who aren’t afraid to ask for help when they need it. So if you have a question, call the admissions office yourself.
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