Kevin McMullin

College admissions advice for students, parents, and counselors

Are you building an asset?

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Since I announced back in February that Collegewise would be building training programs for high school counselors, nearly 400 counselors have signed up to be kept informed of what we’re releasing, and when. And while I certainly hope that interest leads them to eventually enroll in what we build, we’ve never been worried about this program failing. We’re confident in what we’re building, but more importantly, our new training programs will have value to us even if not a single high school counselor enrolls. We’re not just building training programs—we’re building an asset.

We plan to use these trainings when we hire new counselors. We can make the trainings available to any of our current counselors who want a refresher course. We’ll use the associated materials in our work with our own students. We can share the programs, free of charge, with counselors at under-resourced schools. We’ll learn a lot about how to train in online formats and how to do an even better job for high school counselors. All of those things have value without a monetary transaction taking place.

This was an intentional decision on our part. We’re still a small company that’s trying to grow responsibly. We didn’t want to bet the future of our business by spending a lot of time and money on a product that relied only on our customers’ wallets to pay us back. We believe that offering training to high school counselors is a smart business decision for us. But we know the asset will be valuable to us whether or not it pays us back financially.

Too many high school students make decisions predicated only on what they think will help them get into a good college. They’ll enroll in an AP class, or do a community service project, or start a club, not because they really want to, but because they believe colleges will reward them for it later.

But approaching college planning that way is like a company betting its future on a product whose only worth is the money it generates. Yes, it might work. But is the risk worth it?

As you choose classes and activities, as you make decisions about how to spend your time and where to direct your energy, ask yourself, “Am I doing something just because I hope the college will buy it? Or am I building an asset that has inherent value to me?”

Challenge, learning, enjoyment, passion, camaraderie, growth, mentors, confidence, and even just plain fun—there are lots of acceptable payments for the things you choose to do. These payments have inherent value to you whether or not a college rewards you with an offer of admission.

If you find yourself wondering if all this college planning will be worth it, consider worrying a little less about doing what colleges supposedly want. Don’t give them the power to decide whether or not your afterschool art class, or part-time job at the car wash, or volunteer hours at the local Boys and Girls Club will help you get in. Focus on the other returns on your investment, the kind that make you smarter and happier and more mature.

It’s what the colleges want you to do anyway. And you’ll be able to take the asset with you wherever you spend the next four years.

Good sports

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The New York Times recently interviewed college coaches from a variety of sports about what they look for when recruiting prospective student athletes. Of course, the advice pertains to students who are hoping to play sports in college. But I’m sharing the link, and some excerpts below, because as the introduction to the article notes, the advice—like work hard, use good judgment, and be a good sport—will help any student succeed, whether or not you’re an athlete.

I always find it interesting to get a voicemail from a parent saying that their son is so busy that he can’t call me himself. Until that kid picks up the phone, I assume they are not interested. When you see a kid who has taken ownership of the process, it tells you that, by and large, they will take ownership of other things in their lives, too.

-Gene McCabe, head coach of men’s lacrosse at Washington and Lee University

There are kids I don’t recruit because I see their social media. When I see an inappropriate [post], like provocative pictures or inappropriate language, it’s a red flag.

-Audra Smith, head coach of women’s basketball at Clemson University

The biggest asset I look for on the field, past athleticism and skill, is intrinsic drive. The most successful student athletes that I have coached are the ones that, first minute or last minute, winning or losing, hot day or cold day, cup final or “easier game,” show the same type of attitude. If somebody has that drive and work ethic, they will continuously grow and develop.

-Jeremy Gunn, head coach of men’s soccer at Stanford University

We vet players by talking to their club coaches. I want to know: Is this the kid who after practice is by themselves, wearing their headphones, walking quickly off the field? Or is this the kid who picks up the cones and the pinnies and helps out? I want the kid who picks up the cones, who has that awareness of other people. In developing a team, I look for people who are not selfish. I honestly would take A- or B+ level talent but A+ characteristics because those people tend to rise when things get harder.

-Tracey Bartholomew, head coach of women’s soccer at Columbia University

Got academic work to complete this summer?

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Many students, especially those in AP classes, have assignments to complete this summer—reading, problem sets, papers, etc.—before returning to school in the fall. If you’ve got some academic items on the summer to-do list, you might wish things were different. You might wish that you could enjoy your summer assignment-free. You might wish for a few months of respite from academic obligations and from the stress that comes with knowing your time isn’t entirely yours.

The sooner you jump in and get that work done, the sooner all those wishes come true.

Don’t start with the thank you

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Here’s an easy-to-follow piece of advice to help you write a nice thank-you note, courtesy of this NPR story that appeared a decade ago.

Lemony Snicket’s Advice on How to Write a Nice Thank-You Note

1. Do not start with the thank you.

2. Start with any other sentence. If you first say, “Thank you for the nice sweater,” you can’t imagine what to write next. Say, “It was so wonderful to come home from school to find this nice sweater. Thank you for thinking of me on Arbor Day.”

3. Then you’re done.

And since I’m on the topic…

Here’s my past post on how to write a thank-you note, plus another that shares Simon Sinek’s reminder that the order matters when asking someone for a favor.

Bookmark them until you need them.

For counselors: your best season yet?

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Counselors who will soon be helping the Class of 2018 apply to college have a lot of changes to contend with this year—a new SAT, the Coalition Application, and the Prior-Prior-Year for the FAFSA, in particular. Considering how dedicated most counselors are to their students, it’s no surprise that so many of the counselors I interact with personally or within our various social media groups are anxious about all the upcoming unfamiliar territory. All of us seem to want more information, more answers, and frankly, familiarity with a landscape that seems to keep changing no matter how fast we scramble to keep up.

But if you’re a counselor who’s unsettled by what’s ahead, please remember that your students have the wonderful advantage of a counselor who cares enough to be concerned.

It’s unsettling not to know exactly what lies ahead. And it’s frustrating when changes like these unravel your previous systems and create more work for an already overworked counselor. There’s no cheerleading around that.

But the fact that you care enough to be concerned, that you’re reaching out to colleagues and comparing notes, that you’re scouring our social media groups, collecting whatever information is available, and considering how to best help your students—all of those things are a sign that your kids are in good hands.

The most veteran counselors have seen big changes before, from the advent of online applications to the introduction of the Common Application, and previous big changes to the SAT (which seem to happen every 4-5 years). They were unfamiliar at first. They concerned you on behalf of your kids. They created frustration and additional work. And somehow, you got your students through it.

It’s not the easiest time to be a college admissions counselor. But your kids are going to need you even more this year than ever before. And given that kids are the reason that we all got into this business, that just might make this season your best one yet.

P.S. Nearly 400 counselors have signed up to be notified when we release our first batch of counselor training programs this fall.  Click here if you’d like to be added to the list.

Five tips for parents who’ve been through this before

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For parents who have been through the college admissions process before, your familiarity with the territory can lead to a much smoother, more enjoyable ride for you and for your younger kids. But it can also lead to frustration if your veteran expectations don’t align with college admissions reality. So here are five tips for parents who are about to go through the college admissions process again.

1. Expect it to be different.
It’s natural to let past experiences leave us feeling as if we know exactly what to expect the next time around. But like many of the milestones you’ve enjoyed with your younger kids, their college admissions process will likely not be the same—for them or for you—as it was when you navigated this with their older sibling. Instead of hoping for predictability, expect it to be different. Celebrate it as a sign that you’ve raised unique, interesting siblings, each with their own personality, goals, strengths, and weaknesses. Your past experience still has value—if you learned that visiting eleven colleges in four days is too exhausting for your family, you can make a different decision this time. Just don’t expect that tours, trips, or takeaways will be the same. You’ll enjoy this more if you don’t expect predictability from an inherently unpredictable process.

2. Don’t compare.
Life as a younger sibling can’t help but involve the occasional—or frequent—comparison to their elder cohorts in the house. But the college admissions process is one time when a student needs to feel like it’s all about him. Don’t draw comparisons to where elder kids applied, how many times they took standardized tests, or how their admissions results played out. It’s hard for a student to take—and feel—ownership of their college admissions process if it’s constantly being compared and contrasted with that of their older sibling. I’m not saying you need to discount the fact that someone else in the house has been through this before. But high school students get plenty of measurement and comparison to other kids just by preparing for college. Home should be the one place where there’s no curve to compare against.

3. Focus where you have control.
It’s tempting for parents who’ve been through this before to expect that as veterans, they’ll be able to engineer a flawless process with perfect results. But no matter how grizzled you may be, you can still only influence, never fully control, how your student approaches the college admissions process. And you certainly can’t dictate whether or not a college says yes. So focus on the parts that you can control. You can decide how you approach this process with your new applicant. You can resolve to enjoy this time. You can allow your student to take the lead.  Accepting that you can’t control the process during this time is vital for both rookies and veterans. But parents who have experience need to understand that your newfound admissions knowledge won’t necessarily mean newfound control.

4. Recommit to your most important job.
A parent’s most important job during this process is to be the parent of a college applicant. Yes, you should let your kids take ownership of the process. But they need your guidance, encouragement, and occasional cheerleading. And even more importantly, they need you to show them how a mature adult handles stressful situations. Put more bluntly, your kids are taking cues from you, and they need you to not act like a lunatic on their behalf. This is not an easy job to do. But the best place to apply your learning from previous experience is to yourself and the important role you need to play. This applicant is different from your last applicant. But your overarching—and most important—job is not.

5. Let your most important lesson inform you.
Parents who’ve gone through this process before have probably learned the single most important college admissions lesson—things eventually work out. With all the anxiety, heartbreak, and other drama that so often accompanies this process while it’s happening, the long-term reality is that no lasting damage is done by one grade, test score, or admissions decision. Most kids get in someplace and enjoy life in college. Families emerge unscathed and enjoy life together on the other side. The process itself will be different this time. The collegiate outcomes likely will be, too. But the end result will almost certainly be the same. A suspenseful movie isn’t so tense when you’ve watched it before. And for this particular story of college admissions, you already know the wonderful spoiler.

Learn how to write a college essay before you start

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Today I get to do one of my favorite activities of the year—present a college essay seminar to Collegewise families in the Seattle area. I always enjoy the opportunity to dust off my presentation chops and get in front of families who are just about to start this process under the expert guidance of our counselors. And best of all, we’ve learned that the best time to teach kids what works in a college essay–and more importantly, what does not–is before they start writing. You wouldn’t try to teach kids math, art, or chemistry by telling them to go do it on their own with the promise that you’ll teach them by critiquing their mistakes later. And we like our Collegewise kids to be essay savvy before they ever start writing.

Seniors, if you’d like to learn about college essay writing before you start, you can get your own video of my essay seminar here (it’s viewable online once you create an account). Or you can browse all of my past articles about essays here.

Unnecessary at best, misleading at worst

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There’s a reason that nearly 850* U.S. colleges and universities have stopped requiring SAT or ACT scores, with more joining that list every year. Scores on these exams have nothing interesting to tell us beyond what can be learned about an applicant in other ways, particularly when it’s possible to sit down with him or her. Even in purely statistical terms, and even if we’re interested only in predicting future grades and test scores (as opposed to more authentic outcomes), such tests are unnecessary at best, and misleading at worst.”

Whom We Admit, What We Deny: The Meaning of Selective Admissions

*Ed. Note: This number has increased to more than 850 schools since the article was written in 2012.

High expectations + unconditional love

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I consider myself an odd combination of a parenting novice and parenting expert.

My son is 18 months old, and I’m the first to admit that in spite of all the books, websites, and other sources of supposed parenting expertise that my wife and I have consumed since we learned he was on the way, every day, I’m reminded that I have no idea what I’m doing. Almost everything that works with one child may have the direct opposite effect with another. And anybody who tells you that they’ve figured it all out is fooling themselves. Welcome to the new parenting club.

But I have worked with hundreds of teenagers and their parents in the 17 years since I started Collegewise. I’ve noticed which kids seem the happiest and most balanced. I’ve noticed which parents seem to find more joy than frustration as the parents of teenagers. And I’ve noticed which families seem to have the best relationship with each other.

Almost without fail, they were the families with parents who combined high expectations with unconditional love.

They didn’t necessarily expect their kids to be perfect—their high expectations focused more on effort and character than on the outcomes. They appreciated their kids’ strengths and accepted their weaknesses. But while the expectations were clearly in place, there was never a time when one of their kids felt like their parents’ love was predicated on GPAs, test scores, or admission to any particular college.

I expect that when my son is a teenager, I’ll find that striking this balance—like just about all aspects of parenting—is much easier to say (or to share on a blog) than it is to pull off. If it were that easy and that universally effective, everyone would be doing it.

But if you’d like to see this concept of high expectations combined with unconditional love explained succinctly (with a visual aid), check out author Dan Pink’s new two-minute video featuring a tidbit from frequently-featured-here psychologist Angela Duckworth.

You may not get the balance right all the time. But it’s nice to know what to shoot for. And my statistical sample says that this is a parenting approach that (usually) works.

Those who do

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Chris, a Collegewise counselor and former MIT admissions counselor, shares this recent post from MIT Dean of Admissions, Stu Schmill, about what they look for—and don’t look for—in prospective students.

In simple terms, we want students to pursue the things that interest them with energy and enthusiasm. We want students to make decisions that are educationally sound for them to best prepare them to succeed in college and beyond. We want students to challenge themselves appropriately in the areas that are most interesting to them. We want students to engage with their community in their pursuits. And, we want students who demonstrate strong ethical character. In short, we want young people to be students and community members first, and applicants second…We don’t want students to do things just because they think they have to. We don’t want students to take advanced classes out of a sense of competition, rather than the joy of learning. We don’t want a laundry list of a million activities. And we don’t want students sacrificing quality for quantity – something that is happening far too often.

I think Schmill’s sentiments are honest and forthright. I also think that the admissions officers at most highly selective colleges would concur. But to really understand and appreciate what he’s sharing, you’ll need to read the entire thing, and you’ll need to read between the lines.

It’s true—MIT doesn’t want students who take every AP class out of a sense of competition. They don’t want students who do things because they think they have to. They don’t want students who focus more on their quantity of work than they do on the quality. They want genuinely curious, engaged human beings who will make valuable contributions in and out of class when they get to college.

But this year, MIT received applications from 20,000 of the very best students in the world, and they only needed to admit about 1500 of them to fill the class.

Those students who were admitted may not have diligently plodded through all of their schools’ AP classes driven only by a sense of competition. But most of them probably took the most challenging courses offered, and voraciously pursued their intellectual interests outside of class driven only by their curiosity and desire to learn. There aren’t very many teenagers who learn that much, that well, driven only by their own intense intellectualism. But those who do all apply to schools like MIT.

Those students who were admitted may not have done things because they thought they had to. But they probably did commit themselves passionately to things they really cared about. And they almost certainly achieved impressive success within those activities, whether it was community service, drama, baseball, the math club, Kung Fu, playing the cello, or training guide dogs for the blind. There aren’t very many students who can make that kind of an impact in high school, and do it all driven only by an innate sense of passion and drive unrelated to college admission. But those who do all apply to schools like MIT.

Those students who were admitted probably didn’t care about quantity. They never asked how many AP classes, activities, hours of community service, awards, etc. were enough. They cared more about what they were learning, doing, and contributing than they did about whether or not it would be sufficient to earn an admission to their dream college. But their applications almost certainly revealed that they did more, achieved more success, and made a greater impact than most of the applicants applying to college. There aren’t very many students who can do that much, that well, and legitimately claim that they did it because they wanted to, not because they were trying to impress colleges. But those who do all apply to schools like MIT.

Is it a perfect process? Is it even fair? No, it’s not. There are lots of kids who worked, achieved, and cared enough to prove that they deserved to be admitted. But it’s a numbers game, and the reality is that schools like MIT just can’t admit every qualified student who applies. That’s the rub at just about every highly selective college. Too many stellar applicants, too few spaces to offer.

If you want to attend a highly selective college like MIT, please understand that there is no magic formula, no hard-and-fast list of necessary achievements that will guarantee your admission.

So what should you do?

Take the most challenging classes you can reasonably handle without sacrificing sleep or sanity. Work hard to get the best grades you can. Commit yourself to, and make an impact within, activities you care about. Be a class participator. Make efforts to learn about things that interest you, academic or not. Be a good person who cares about your family, your friends, and your community. Celebrate your successes and learn from your failures. Have faith that your work ethic and character will always be more important than any grade, test score, or admission decision from a particular college.

And most importantly, find colleges that fit, regardless of their prestige. Your list may include some schools like MIT where statistically, nobody stands a good chance. But balance those choices by including schools where your counselor agrees that you have a strong chance of admission.

Taking this route still won’t guarantee that you’ll get into a highly selective college. But it guarantees there will be plenty of great colleges where you’ll be one of those who do.