In some locations, one of the worst effects of the escalating admissions arms race is the push of preparation to kids who are not even out of elementary school yet. It makes me cringe when a parent asks how they can help their third-grader choose appropriate after-school activities [that will help them get into college some day].

If you’ve got younger kids, I hope you’ll take the time to read these two past posts, one for parents of 6th-, 7th-, and 8th-graders, and one for parents with even younger kids. There is some overlap between the two in terms of the advice, but when my friends with kids in these age groups ask what they should be doing, this is the advice I share.

And while the encouragement contained within will likely help them get into college someday, the steps are healthy and sane—they do not encourage you to focus on or even discuss college with your kids during the younger years.