When applicants consider which teachers to approach to write their letters of recommendation, we recommend that they pick teachers who can tell their academic story behind the grade, who can comment on their genuine interest in the subject and level of participation in class. Not surprisingly, it’s a lot easier to think of teachers who fit that bill if you’ve actually done the things you’d like them to say about you.
But you’re playing a lot of roles in addition to being a student. You might be a teammate, a co-president, editor, friend, son, daughter, or sibling. What would you want those people to say about you if they were asked? When you consider that question, it helps you evaluate how well you’re playing each of the roles in your life.
This isn’t about living your life to try to please everyone. That’s both an exhausting and ineffective way to stand out. But you can still think about what you’d like other people to say about you.
Occasionally, we’ll decide to break up with one of our customers at Collegewise. It’s not something we like to do, and it’s always a last resort when we decide there’s just no reasonable likelihood that we’ll be able to please them. But even for a customer we don’t see eye-to-eye with, we know exactly what we’d like them to say about us.
“Collegewise wasn’t right for us. But they were honest, they treated us with respect, and they recommended us to a counselor they thought would be a better fit.”
Knowing what we’d like them to say guides our behavior.
So consider the roles you play in your life. Then ask yourself, if they were asked, what would you want the people who know you to say about you? What would make you proud to hear about yourself and the contributions you’re making? Then get to work giving those people the story you’d like them to tell.