Yesterday, I stumbled across a LinkedIn profile of a Collegewise student I haven’t spoken with since he finished our program almost 15 years ago.
I remember him well. He wasn’t at the top of his class (or of the arbitrary high school social ladder), but he had good grades, participated in some activities, and most importantly, was the consummate happy, good kid. He was nice to his classmates, well-liked by his friends, and polite to his parents, teachers, and counselors. He was both interested and interesting, two characteristics that usually go together. And while both he and his family clearly believed his education and his future were important, they somehow managed to stay above the admissions frenzy that gripped so many families at his private high school. They knew this good kid—with his work ethic, character, and interests—was going to be just fine no matter where he ended up.
Fast forward 15 years later.
Today, he’s an associate creative director at one of the world’s largest advertising firms (I recognized nearly all of the major campaigns that he’s written). He’s also one of eight members of a sketch comedy group whose monthly shows, featuring their own original material, have sold out for three years running. And on December 31, he’s getting married. Life is good for this grown-up good kid.
While the particulars are unique to him, the story is not. Kids get into college. They grow up, find their way, and maybe even find that special someone and start a family of their own. This tale has a happy ending without a surprising twist.
But so many families can’t see how much they and their kids have to look forward to in the years to come. They’re too focused on that ACT score that still hasn’t cracked 30. They’re hoping that more tutoring can turn that B+ in pre-calculus into an A-. They’re agonizing over whether it’s more volunteer work, a leadership position, or a summer program that will give them the edge for admission to a dream college.
Not all of that focus is bad. We all have to balance dreaming about tomorrow with focusing on what we have to get done today.
But when that focus ruins what should be an exciting time for a family, when it causes undue stress and anxiety, when it leaves kids feeling like the only way they can be validated is by getting a “Yes” from a college that says “No” to most applicants, it’s time to worry less about the particulars of today and have faith in what will become the particulars of tomorrow.
This former Collegewise student’s alma mater? Boston College. If memory serves, it was not his first choice. But he was thrilled anyway. And his positive outlook meant that he probably would have felt the same way attending any college on his list, even one of his safety schools.