In a recent Collegewise Senior Parent Newsletter, one of our counselors recommended that families be wary of “that one parent” who seems to exist in most high school parental circles, the parent who not only can’t stop talking about college admissions, but also seems to inject fear, stress, and negativity into every collegiate conversation.

Do you know that parent? The parent who’s always talking about their collegiate connections, or their SAT tutor’s qualifications? The parent who swears to have the inside scoop and makes you feel like you’re missing something? The parent who makes it about themselves rather than their student, wants to turn this process into a status competition, and just generally won’t give the topic of getting into college a rest?

They aren’t necessarily bad people or bad parents. And they might even be great friends. But if you or your family aren’t enjoying the journey to college as much as you wish you could, that one parent is a toxic addition to the sidelines, dinner parties, and any other parental gatherings, especially as you move into application season.

Much as you’d tell your kids to do with the bad apple at school, if that one parent is ruining the process for you, the best strategy is just not to listen. Don’t let them influence you. Don’t engage. Tune them out. Or avoid them altogether.

And even better? Carve out your own niche and be a different “that one parent.” Be the parent who trusts your kids enough to make the process about them, who finds the fun and joy in it, and who manages to play your most important role—the parent of a college applicant—to the best of your abilities, not the parent who forgets that the stress of the college application process is happening to your kids, not to you.

Here’s a past post from 2011, a parent’s pledge to their high school kids, to help you start carving out your own positive “that one parent” niche.