My favorite management book says that the world’s best managers break the golden rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Instead, they do unto others as others would have done unto themselves. They recognize that everyone is a unique individual. And with everything from attention, to recognition, to the nature of the work at hand, what lights one person up will bring another’s spirits down. They reverse the golden rule.
So why do so many managers seem to follow no rule at all?
A manager who holds an agenda-less, two-hour staff meeting where he does all the talking, or who insists that all decisions—from important to inconsequential—run through her first, or who fires a team member and never even acknowledges that a change has taken place, doesn’t appear to be thinking about what their employees would like done unto them. But it seems to me they’re not following the golden rule, either. I always wonder at what point they also stopped asking, “Would I like this?”
It’s hard to imagine that before they were in charge, any of those managers would have appreciated that same treatment they’re now dishing out. And yet here they are, making decisions every day that affect the happiness and productivity of their employees.
Being in charge isn’t easy. Sometimes you have to make unpopular decisions. Sometimes you have to hand down bad news. Sometimes you have to do things that you absolutely would prefer not to do. That’s part of the job, but it’s rarely the entirety of the job.
Taking the time to understand your employees, and having the skill to recognize what makes each of them tick, is what the best managers do. And for most, it takes time to develop. That’s advanced management, and it’s certainly worth learning.
But if you’re in charge—whether you’re the president of a club, the director of a counseling office, or the head of a parent group—test your decisions by asking, “Would I like this done to me?” Honestly consider how you would react if you were in their shoes. Then move to, “Would they like this?” A yes to both answers means you’re on the right track. A no to both means it’s time to reconsider. And one of each makes it a judgement call.
Even in the most complex management scenarios, starting with “Would I…?” and following it with, “Would they…?” is a good way to check yourself.
Bonus tip: You can improve almost any management situation by being honest, forthright, and clear. Tell the truth, tell it regularly, and tell it without business jargon or platitudes.