Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe tackles some reminders for parents of athletes while watching their kids’ games. Here’s his overarching message:
“The thing parents need to remember is that it’s about the kids. It’s not about the parents. In brief: Try not to care about the game(s) more than your child cares.”
That’s good advice for the college application process, too.
For some families, I know this will be difficult to do. You might worry that your student needs you to lead, that they’re too busy, or even just that the risk is too high that your 17-year-old will screw it up. I understand that. You wouldn’t want to wake up next fall and realize that your student is missing out on college options just because you didn’t take charge when it counted.
But I can tell you from watching thousands of families go through this process that when parents care about it more than their kids do, someone always pays a price. The stress on the parent, the student-parent tension, the college freshman who arrives on campus unprepared, or worse, preemptively disengaged because it never felt like their choice—someone will pay a penalty. And the outcome rarely feels worth the price.
If you’re a parent who wants to step back and just needs some help taking those steps, you can read my blog articles for parents here. I also have a chapter in my book entitled, “Adults Only: How Parents Can Help without Hurting.”