Colleges that require letters of recommendation from applicants usually specify between two desired sources—counselors and/or teachers (I’ve written many blogs covering those topics, which you can find by searching “letters of rec” in the box to the right). Colleges are looking for specific information from those sources, which is exactly why students should follow directions and send only the requested number of letters, and do so from the requested sources.
But there’s a third letter of recommendation that some colleges allow or require in addition to, or instead of, a counselor or teacher letter—the personal rec, one that typically comes from a coach, boss, pastor, or anyone that has interacted or worked with the student in some capacity.
If you’re applying to a college that requests a personal rec, here are three pieces of advice for students, and five tips to share with your personal rec writers.
Advice for students
1. Personal beats famous.
The content of the letter is far more important than whether or not the person is famous or powerful. Asking the famous actor your mother treats at her medical practice to write a letter for you will not help your chances of admission if the A-lister barely knows you. This isn’t a contest to see who can drop the biggest name. Find a personal rec writer who knows you well and can speak to some important aspect of your life, whether that’s an activity, job, or other commitment you care about.
2. Think carefully about what this person can add.
The best personal letters shed light on things that an admissions officer would never know from your application. Let’s say you want your basketball coach to write a letter for you. What do you hope she can say? That you came to practice, worked hard, and were a good kid? Guess what—that describes most varsity basketball players (if players don’t do those things, they get cut from the team). But if your coach could talk about why she selected you as the team captain, or what you did to earn the “Most Inspirational” award, or how you responded positively and earned your spot back after the kid that transferred in took it away from you, those are things the admissions office would love to learn about. When in doubt, have a chat with the potential writer and find out if you’ve done the kind of work that would translate into a strong letter of recommendation.
3. Remember that optional means you can opt out.
Many colleges that use personal letters of rec make them optional, yet few students pass up the opportunity. I understand the inclination to include any seemingly positive addition to your application that the college allows. But before you race out and secure that optional personal letter, review tip #2 above. Can this person really add something to your application that the admissions office won’t already know? Can they share aspects of your work, personality, or character in a way that the college won’t have learned from reading the rest of your application and your essays? If not, you’re probably better off opting out of the optional personal letter. If the rest of your application is strong and has created a good impression, why make that impression any less impactful by adding in a personal letter that adds nothing new? Opting out doesn’t automatically hurt your application. In fact, it can often help it.
Advice for personal rec writers
1. Focus on what makes this student stand out.
Colleges will assume that unless they see evidence indicating otherwise, most athletes work hard, part-time workers have done what’s asked of them, most actresses learned their lines, etc. So what makes this particular student stand out to you? What has he or she done that you don’t necessarily see from every player, volunteer, worker, etc.? These might be big things, like the first teenager you’ve ever asked to write a column in the community paper. But they can also be small things, like the way the customers at the coffee shop know this kid’s name and love to chat with him. Don’t worry about whether the college will consider it noteworthy. If it stood out to you, they’ll want to know.
2. Support with specific details.
Generalities suck the life out of a letter of recommendation; details inject life back in. “Joseph is very responsible” is a generality. The reader has no idea what Joseph’s responsibility actually looks like. But, “Joseph is one of the few employees at my shop that I trust enough to leave in charge when I can’t be at work, and that includes giving him the keys to the store and the combination to our safe where we keep the cash”—now we see just how responsible this kid is, and how that makes him stand out.
3. Tell a story.
College admissions officers are reading hundreds, and in some cases, thousands of applications. Facts and short descriptions are easily forgotten, but stories stick. Using our example from #2, imagine that the writer then went on to describe one particular instance where Joseph’s responsibility was put to the test, when the owner was on vacation, a manager fell ill, and Joseph stepped in without the necessary training and ran the store for the day. That’s a story that will get repeated when the committee deliberates: “Let’s talk more about the kid who ran the coffee shop for a day.” Use details to back up your praise. Then use a story to illustrate one example of this student doing exactly what you’re praising.
4. Communicate impact.
Colleges are looking for students who will make things happen on campus. One of the best ways to communicate that potential is to explain what impact the student has made on your organization, the people you serve, the co-workers or teammates, etc. Is there a fundamental difference or improvement you can point to that this student drove? For example, a coach might describe the way a player mitigated conflict between teammates. A director might describe how an understudy stepped in and saved the day. A pastor might describe the way a youth group’s membership grew as a result of this student’s work. Show the impact this student has made in your world, and the college will gain confidence that she can make a similar impact in theirs.
5. Close with the legacy.
When this student leaves for college, what will you and your organization, your people, or your customers miss about her? And is there any aspect of her work that will continue to benefit those who remain? That legacy, the impact and change a student leaves behind, is an effective way to close a letter. Maybe you’ll miss the confidence she inspired in her teammates even when the game seemed out of reach. Maybe the shop just won’t seem the same without him high-fiving the kids as he served them ice cream. Maybe you’ll need to search for another teen with the talent to speak about religion and get fellow teens to listen. While you might have a sense of what this student will do in the future, you have a unique and qualified perspective about the legacy they’ll be leaving in their past. And sharing that perspective is one of the best ways to help a college envision this future student on their campus.