Like most parents who read this blog, I received my college admissions decisions in an envelope, one addressed just to me. So did all of my classmates. Naturally, we shared the news, good or bad, with our immediate family members in the house. But we retained our choice whether or not to share that news with anyone else. Whether celebrating a yes or stinging from a no, our news, and our reactions, were private until we decided otherwise. Each student got to make his or her own choice.

Times have changed, and not necessarily for the best.

A student who gets bad news from a college today will be subjected to the online announcements, celebrations, and congratulations for those students who got a yes. Some colleges congratulate particular students with tagged, spreadable tweets. Others even go as far as to hand deliver acceptance letters at home or at school. Good news or bad, most kids won’t get to have their own private reactions. They’re immersed in what’s often become a sideshow of admissions news, much of which they never opted in to, and cannot opt out of.

Yes, most of today’s kids don’t know anything different. They’ve come of age living life out loud where every thought, photo, milestone, etc. is just a click away from being shared, often outside of their own inner circles. They don’t yearn for gold old days that they’ve never known.

But parents, this is also your opportunity to give them a gift of letting them own their news.

When admissions decisions arrive, good news or bad, remember that this is your student’s news, not yours. By all means, celebrate good news as a family. Remind them that bad news doesn’t invalidate their work or lessen your pride in who they are. But most importantly, let your kids decide when, how, and with whom that news will be shared. Before you post on social media, before you call the grandparents, before you email those close to them who’ve been waiting on pins and needles from afar, remember that it’s your student, not you, who just received that news. Let them decide whether to keep or share it.

Today’s kids have already shared more than any of us had at their age. Let’s all take what is an increasingly rare opportunity—give them the space, privacy, and choice to own their admissions news.