Loyal reader George shared “Dear Penn Freshmen,” a product of Penn professor and author Adam Grant’s Organizational Behavior class. University of Pennsylvania juniors and seniors wrote letters of advice, encouragement, and wisdom to their freshmen selves, knowing that their words would be made available to future Penn classes.

I’m sharing the link here for a few reasons.

First, I know that many of my readers (or their kids) will be starting college in six short months. Bookmark the link. Their words will almost certainly resonate strongly before and during college.

But more importantly, I can’t tell you how many high school students I’ve heard say something akin to, “If I get in to (insert prestigious college here), I’ll be set for life.” That also implies that failing to gain admission to such a college leaves you behind all of those who do.

To be admitted to a highly selective college like Penn, these students are obviously smart, curious, driven, and talented.  They are going places in life, no question about it. They and their parents should be proud of what they’ve accomplished and excited about what’s in store for them after college.

But if you take the time to read the Penn upperclassmen’s words, you’ll see just how human these Ivy League superheroes really are. They’ve got insecurities. They’ve had ups and downs. They’ve had breakups, failures, and disappointments. Even as they’re about to graduate from an Ivy League school, they’re still 21 and 22-year-olds who are figuring it out, just like most of us grown-ups had to no matter where we may have gone to college.

I didn’t try to find a unifying theme within their advice, but a few certainly appeared. I shared a few of my favorites below that I’m hoping will resonate with high school students and parents.

Remember, the day you get a yes or a no from a college is just one day. Wherever you go, there will be highs and lows, good days and bad. Families will navigate this process more successfully, and with less stress, if they remember that no admissions decision leaves you “set for life.”

It’s not where you go; it’s what you do while you’re there.

You’ll get there. No matter what happens today or tomorrow, you will get to where you’re meant to be. 

Erica

It is okay to be different: If you haven’t realized it by now, you are a bit weird. You have different motivations and aspirations than most of your peers.  And that is completely fine.

Nick

It’s not worth worrying as much as you do about whether or not you fit in.  No one fits everywhere.  Coolness is highly subjective, and it’s okay to define it on your own terms.

Mikaela G

Last but certainly not least, HAVE FUN. Things might (scratch that, they will) get tricky along the way, but you’ll make it out just fine. Time flies. Savor the ups, the downs, (the mehs,) the people, and the experiences; make the most of these years. Live these four years to the fullest (in whatever way YOU define). In the words of our dear Ben Franklin (get used to the references to him): lost time is never found again.

Katherine C

Lastly, but equally important, don’t take anything too seriously. Make fun of yourself and how pretentious your activities sometimes are. Strive for the best you can achieve but be gracious when things don’t go to plan. There’s nothing more important than the people in your life, everything else is ancillary. Don’t sweat over the less than perfect team project or that test you could have done better on. Honestly, it isn’t worth the mental energy or the risk of ruining the relationships around you. You will learn so much over these next four years. These are your years.

Bryan C

And above all else, remember that there is so much more to life than these next four years. Stay humble, be kind, and take care of yourself. During the first month of school, you will wonder if Penn is the right place for you. You will be sad and worried about what will come next– but have faith and keep going, because your life is about to be more incredible than you could have imagined.

Kelly

Pursuits of perfection can be poisonous. What does perfect look like anyway? Why might you (or anyone else) push towards perfection? You are not perfect, yet you are all that you have. Accept and appreciate that. Observe the gaps between your reality and your expectations for yourself with a sense of humor. Your “flaws” make you wonderfully human. Why hide them?

Bobby

Don’t be too distraught when you get that C in calculus. Go grab some ice cream with friends instead. You’ll be fine, I promise.

Lauren

Don’t flunk. That’s it. Your worth is not measured by your GPA. Your worth is measured in the kindness you show to others, the passion you feel for your work, and the effort you put into every task.

Isabelle

You are not perfect by any measure and thus failure is both pervasive and inevitable. This you cannot control. What you can control is how you approach and recover from failures. Yes, Jane – you will fail. HA yep, you will get a bad grade (by non-asian standards), you will mess up a relationship, and you will #Feelthebern of rejection. But you will then face it courageously, accept it graciously, and grow from it. Sure a night of wallowing in your sorrows with some Half Baked ice cream and an emotional skype session with your parents won’t hurt – you’re only human. But then suck it up and move on – it’s a new day that shouldn’t be wasted on the past.

Jane

Know that it’s okay if you haven’t found your calling (yet). So many students seem to know exactly what they want to do with the rest of their lives, who they want to work with, where they want to be, etc. Know that it is entirely fine to not have an idea of that right now! Sometimes it takes people well into adulthood to find what truly makes them happy, and that is okay! Living your life—having new experiences, stepping outside your comfort zone, trying lots of different things—that is the way to find out what you’ll be happiest doing. It may take time, but I’m sure it is so worth it.

Kristen

Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. There is something you have at this moment that you will increasingly have less of, and that is optionality. The world is still your oyster, so many paths are still possible, and you still have all the time in the world to learn and to grow and to develop. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t commit to things, because at some point you will have to choose, but what it does mean is that you should always try to keep as many options open as possible, and to cherish this state of almost-adulthood (and all its benefits) instead of trying to be the Real Adult you most certainly are not.

Angie

As I enter my final semester, there is still so much I don’t know. But that’s ok. As of January, I have no solid job prospects, but I’m pretty sure it’s all going to work out because I’m a hard worker with many applicable skills in my chosen field. As long as you trust yourself, it will be fine.

Reilly

Next, and here’s the big one, take a deep breath and relax. Enjoy college and stop taking everything so seriously. If there’s one thing I know right now, your four years at Penn will fly by. That doesn’t mean every semester or year will feel short. There are going to be some that are difficult, but it’s not the end of the world. When things get hard, remember you’re not the only one struggling. Remember that getting the worst grades you’ve ever gotten in chemistry doesn’t mean you’re an incapable idiot or you’re not cut out for doing something you care about later, whether that’s med school or not. I’m not saying things like that don’t suck, they do. A lot. But when you’re endlessly second guessing yourself, go take a breath, relax, and do something that will make you happy.

Emma

Remember that every embarrassing moment or bad moment will become a great story to tell in time.

Isabella