Parents and students, you get to make a choice.

Will you choose to believe that an admission to a prestigious college—a school on that very short list of colleges that deny nearly all of their applicants—is the only acceptable outcome for all of your hard work? If you make that choice, you can reasonably expect that your high school years will be stressful. And you must accept that your odds of disappointment will be far, far greater than your odds of succeeding will be. I know that sounds unsupportive and pessimistic, and I don’t mean it to be. But the math doesn’t lie.

Or will you choose to believe that while attending college is very important, attending a prestigious college is not. Will you choose to believe that your own hard work and character will always pay off in the long run, whether or not your eventual college is famous?

To put it more directly: Will you opt in or out of the admissions madness?

Will you choose to join or to eschew the escalating arms race for admission to prestigious schools that injects so much fear and pressure and disappointment into what should be an exciting time?

If your college planning isn’t making you excited about the future, if you spend more time worrying than you do enjoying your life, if your family’s discussions about college education always turn into pressure-packed sessions that leave all parties on edge, maybe it’s time to make a different choice?

The new year might be the perfect time to make it.