“Again and again, among the families I treat as a psychologist, I see a disconnect between the skill set that parents are pushing (compete like crazy, get good grades, over-prep for tests, go to a prestigious college, make lots of money) and the assets and attitudes that actually bring young people success in college, at work, in relationships, and in life. When I explain that teaching kids to overvalue external measures of success short-circuits their development as self-regulating individuals — the true foundation of a productive life — a shocking number of parents respond that you can’t undo bad grades and low test scores, but you can always catch up on the emotional stuff later — a tragic misapprehension. No matter what I say, no matter what research demonstrates clearly, I see parents who want the best for their children clinging to a damaging M.O., compelled by their own acute anxiety.”

Madeline Levine
Co-founder at Challenge Success
Why the Needle Isn’t Moving