Most parents can probably recall the first time your infant son or daughter got a shot at your doctor’s office. No matter how necessary the medicine, it’s not easy to watch your innocent, defenseless, little one get stuck with a needle. But you do it anyway. You do it because the risk of not doing it is too great and the temporary discomfort is worth the long-term benefit. It’s one of the first examples of doing something for their own good.

The “for your own good” model can get more difficult as that former infant becomes a teenager preparing for college.

It’s not easy to step back and let them start running their own lives.

It’s not easy to resist handling things on their behalf, like emailing teachers or counselors, calling colleges, and securing activities.

It’s not easy to step back and let them fill out their own college applications and essays.

It’s not easy to encourage them to find their own way, to make their own mistakes, and learn their own lessons, especially when it seems like you could remove so much future frustration, difficulty, and disappointment.

But this is just the teenage version of the first shot at the doctor’s office. It’s not easy for you. In fact, at the time, it just might hurt you almost as much as it hurts them.

Do it anyway.

Do it because it’s necessary. Do it because you love them. Do it because it’s what they need their parents to do to help them become a happy, capable, successful college student.

Do it because it’s for their own good.