Fifteen years ago, I invited all (which at that time meant “all four”) of our counselors and editors to my house for dinner. One of the editors who could not attend replied:

“Kevin, I’d love to come, but my husband and I already made plans that night. If you ever host in the future, please invite me again, OK?”

There was something about the “Please invite me again…” portion that I loved. It was so earnest and sincere, not at all formulaic.  It actually left me even more likely to invite her in the future. That’s hard to do in a short email declining an invitation (it’s no surprise that she’s since gone on to be a successful author).

Happy and successful people say “no” with regularity. It’s a crucial habit if you want to stay focused, productive, and fulfilled.

But it’s important to say “no” in the right way so you don’t alienate people or come off like an ungrateful jerk. Here’s a good example you can build on if you need some suggested language.