A recent op-ed piece by the mother of a college applicant (which I’m not sharing here because I think it will feed the flames of fear for some families) described the admissions process of certain selective colleges as “arbitrary,” much to the dismay of many admissions officers and high school counselors who expressed their disappointment on social media.
While I don’t agree with her conclusion, I can certainly understand it.
From the perspective of the kids and parents going through the process, it must seem arbitrary. While most colleges list their application requirements and the average stats for those students who are admitted, the process of deciding who gets offered admission and who does not is still a mystery for most people who haven’t sat in the room or at the very least worked in the industry. Outsiders aren’t privy to the discussions or the institutional needs or any of the other factors that can influence a decision. Kids who get in can celebrate, but those who are denied are given no explanation why. Rational human beings want to make sense of things. When we can’t, it’s not unnatural to conclude that there is no logical explanation.
But I wish that more students and parents could see the care and attention that every application is given, often by multiple readers. I wish they could see the admissions officers poring over every transcript, every essay, and every recommendation. I wish they could see the follow-up calls to counselors to verify information that’s unclear, the personal investment they make in preparing to make a case for their potential admits, and the emotional discussions that take place during committee meetings.
The vast majority of college admissions officers—and we’ve got a lot of counselors here who worked on that side of the desk—are smart, well-meaning, good-hearted people who want to do right by kids. They don’t like denying students who’ve worked hard and wanted to attend. They know that they’re often leaving out students who could absolutely do the work and make great contributions. But when you have too few spaces for too many qualified applicants, decisions need to be made, and they can almost never be done for entirely meritocratic reasons.
That leaves families with two potential paths.
You can insist on applying to colleges that deny most of their students. You can spend the high school years searching for a (non-existent) formula that will make admissions a certainty. You can throw yourself at the mercy of this uncertain outcome and twist in discomfort while waiting for a decision to arrive.
Or you can embrace the fact that there are likely hundreds of colleges that would happily admit you. And for those schools that deny most of their applicants, you can accept that like dating and other forms of human selection, your best path is to do your best, be proud of who you are, and have faith that there are plenty of collegiate fish in the sea if your preferred soul mate doesn’t work out.
It’s not perfect. It’s not even always fair. But it’s not arbitrary, either.