Being a good listener is like flossing your teeth—just about everybody knows it’s worth doing, but far fewer people are able to do it consistently.

We’ve learned after counseling thousands of families for over 15 years that one of the best things a counselor can do—whether you’re finding out what kind of help a family wants, discussing potential colleges, or helping a student find the best college essay topic, is just be quiet. Let the other person talk. If they stop talking, be OK with a little silence.

Yes, there are a lot of other things you need to do to listen (and to counsel a family) well. You have to ask the right questions. You have to give good feedback at the right time. You have to seek to really understand. You’re not a great listener just because you’re willing to sit there and not talk. But silence is a great start.

Some people need a moment to formulate their thoughts or to get the courage to say the thing that’s hard for them to say. Silence gives them the room to do that. I’m a yapper. I know this about myself. But every time I remind myself to just be quiet and let someone else talk more than I do, the interaction always seems to go better. For both of us.

If you want to improve your counseling, your sales, or even just your personal interactions, let silence have some space in the conversation.