If you’re a senior with multiple college acceptances and you’re having trouble deciding which one to attend, here’s something that might help a little.
It’s tempting to try to pro-and-con your way to a decision. You can compare features and benefits, make lists, compare the offerings of one college with those of another, etc. But while I think it’s a good idea to make sure you’ve really compared your options, don’t be surprised if that act doesn’t necessarily bring you closer to a decision. Most of the seniors I’ve met who made pro-and-con lists were ultimately left with long lists and no further clarity.
Instead of comparing schools, try asking yourself this—what part of the decision are you not talking about?
The answer might be obvious to you. Maybe you already know the part of the decision that you’re not talking about because you think it’s embarrassing, or you’re worried people you share it with won’t understand.
But I’ve also met seniors who didn’t know the answer to that question until I asked them. And all of a sudden, the source of their hesitation or outright anxiety came front and center.
Maybe you’re scared to leave home.
Maybe you’re worried you’ll never make friends like those you’ve met in high school.
Maybe you’re unsure about majoring in engineering, or worried that you’ll let your parents down if you choose the school you really want to go to, or concerned that you’ll be on campus 48 hours and realize you made the wrong choice.
Just identifying and acknowledging that part you’re not talking about can be a relief. You can focus on the part that’s actually causing your doubt instead of circumventing it by talking about what you think you should talk about.
The next step? Talk about it. With a parent, your high school counselor, or even a friend. And if that just sounds too awkward or flat-out painful, write about it. Spend as much time as you need just blurting everything out in writing. Remind yourself that this isn’t a graded assignment—let your feelings fly without worrying about whether they’re spelled correctly or remotely organized. Just getting it out will be cathartic.
Finally, please know that it’s normal to feel uncertain. You’re making a big life decision, and this is how big life decisions work. Your friends may seem entirely sure of their college choices. But while some of them may in fact be, many more are not. Don’t worry too much. I promise that within hours of committing (and hopefully putting on your new college sweatshirt), that anxiety will turn to excitement. This is what you’ve been working and waiting for, and it’s almost time to celebrate.