After every meeting we have with a Collegewise student, we not only send them home with a to-do list, but we also email the parent a copy of the list. We do this because there are things that need to get done with college applications, and the to-do lists keep that process manageable for us and for them. But we also do it because when a parent asks their kid, “How was your meeting with Collegewise?”, many teens will answer only with, “Fine.” The to-do lists are documented proof that things are getting done.
If you get a similar answer to the question, “How was school today?”, this article has some good advice that might lead to some more detail in the response.
I’d also add that any questions you ask that let your kids focus on bright spots–their favorite class or teacher, the best subject, the best feedback they got that week, etc. are likely to lead to more conversations. It’s tempting to focus on weaknesses and what needs to be fixed or improved. But kids will be even more encouraged when they know that Mom and Dad notice and appreciate what’s going well. Author Dan Health has some good advice about finding bright spots with your kids here.