Madeline Levine, a psychologist with 30 years of experience, is also the co-founder of Challenge Success, an organization that believes that our society has become too focused on grades, test scores and performance instead of helping our kids become resilient, successful, meaningful contributors for the 21st century. Here’s how she defines overparenting (from an interview discussing her book Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success):
“When I say overparenting is not a great idea, I’m really talking about three things: Don’t do for your kid what they can already do. Don’t do for your kid what they can almost do, because that’s where they have those successful failures. Sometimes they make it; sometimes they don’t—but that’s where they learn. And don’t do for your kids out of your needs, not theirs.”
If parents of college applicants are looking for the best way to monitor your involvement in your student’s college process while still doing your most important job, that’s about the most succinct and on-point description that I’ve found.