Few people have done more to quell college admissions anxiety and the rampant obsession with prestigious colleges than Jay Mathews, columnist at the Washington Post and author of Harvard Schmarvard. In this column, Jay presents another side of the argument on the potential value of quitting—kids can learn a lot about their abilities when they push through something difficult.
There’s no getting around it—hard work is important, whether you’re a 17-year-old trying to get into college or a 37-year-old trying to get ahead at work. I don’t think it’s a good idea for kids to routinely quit things at the first whiff of difficulty.
But when hard work becomes drudgery, when a kid is just plodding ahead on something that lost its luster long ago for fear that quitting will somehow come across as lackadaisical during the college admissions process, it might be time to move on and redirect that work ethic somewhere else.
This is an area where parents can be helpful. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. And while they may have a hard time deciding whether a challenge is worth pushing through or putting behind them, you can probably read it on their faces. Start by making it clear that effort is more important than outcomes. Acknowledge that dealing with some stress and with the occasional late night are good preparation for college and for life. But when too many days pass without a bounce in their step, when there’s far too much stress and far too little sleep, teach them the value of cutting back, recharging their batteries, and refocusing their energies.