When I contrast those families who actually enjoy their college
admissions process with those who find it an anxious, stress-inducing ritual
they just hope to survive, one of the most striking differences between their
two approaches is this:
Do they focus on things they can—or cannot—control?
You can’t control whether or not Brown says yes. You
can’t control whether or not your Spanish teacher gives you an A. You can’t control where other students from
your school are applying, your school’s decision to rank (or not rank)
students, or whether or not you get to be the starting setter on the
volleyball team. Sure, you can
influence some of those things. But the
final result isn’t something that you alone get to decide.
You can control your effort.
You can control where you decide to apply. You can control your attitude towards the admissions
process, whether or not you seek help from good sources, and the degree to
which you take responsibility for your college process.
Successful families relentlessly focus on those areas that
are under their control. They let go of everything else as much as possible.
And this choice about what to focus on? That’s under your control, too.