Less than ten hours from now as I write this, I'll be starting a 5-day training for our newest Collegewise counselors from Massachusetts and New York. I've spent a lot of time preparing for this. I've reviewed and updated every piece of material. I've made improvements to past trainings that I think will make this one even better. I've added portions that I've never done before but I think are going to be good additions. Everything from the directions, to the location, to the coffee we'll be enjoying, to the welcome packets they'll be receiving has been meticulously planned. And now I'm absolutely sure of two things.
1. The training will not go perfectly.
2. I'm going to sleep just fine tonight.
Big events have only so many elements that you can control. If my materials were shoddy or I didn't bother giving people accurate directions to the location, that's on me. But the printer could make an error with the materials. PowerPoint might refuse to work (which is why I almost never use it). The air conditioning could go out. There are countless elements that I can't possibly control. So I let those go and focus relentlessly on what's in my circle of influence.
Much of the stress of the college admissions process comes from families trying to control things they can't control. You don't get to decide whether or not you get an A in biology, whether your SAT score improves as much as you hope, or whether or not your dream school will admit you. You can only control your effort, your attitude, and whether or not you're willing to make those goals a priority. Once you do those things, the best strategy is to relax and stop trying to will your teacher, your test or your admissions officer to give you what you want.
The key is to care deeply enough about the outcome that it influences your behavior, while also remaining detached from the outcome itself. Keep all your focus and energy on the things you can control; everything else will almost always have a way of working out.
The printer, the computer or the AC could let me down. But the training will still be better than it would have been had I not invested this time. Now, off to sleep…soundly.