Good college counseling happens when you’re able to quickly and accurately answer families’ questions. Great college counseling happens when you first uncover the reasons they're asking what they’re asking.
A student asks, Will my chances be better if I apply early decision?
You could rattle off statistics, explain that early decision pools do have higher acceptance rates, and point out the numerous reasons those higher acceptance rates are skewed.
Or you could uncover the reason the student is asking.
That’s a good question. Were you considering applying early decision?
Imagine the student replies:
My dad went to Penn and he really wants me to go there. He thinks I should apply early decision because my chances would be better. But I’m not sure I want to go to Penn.
Turns out, this student wasn’t asking for a thesis on the potential statistical boost of applying early decision. Now you’ve uncovered an entirely different concern.
During our training for Collegewise counselors, we teach them to first uncover the reasons behind questions by reversing the question. A reverse starts with a softening statement, like,
That’s a great question…
I’m glad you asked that…
You’re thinking about the right things…
Then you reverse the question:
Can you tell me more about that?
Can you help me understand what you mean?
Do you mind if I ask you something else before I answer?
We’re there to advise, guide, and occasionally cheerlead a family to make informed college planning choices. The better we understand a family’s questions, goals, and worries, the better job we can do. We don’t reverse to be evasive. We do it to be better counselors.
The next time a family asks you a question, don’t assume you know exactly what they mean or why they’re asking. Instead, try uncovering the reason behind the question and see how much more quickly and effectively you’re able to address what they really want to know.