I got an email last week from a reader that actually left me depressed. She’s a mother who had called a particular Ivy League school she had heard was “the easiest Ivy League to get into” to find out what her daughter could do to improve her chances of admission. She claimed they’d told her that her daughter’s SAT scores were average in their pool, so she’d resolved that her daughter would be best served taking the test a third time The kid has a score of 2100 already.
Along with a description of a perfect GPA in the most difficult courses her high school offers, the mother also presented an itemized list of her daughter’s activities so impressive that I was exhausted just reading it.
My response to her was to think about the message she was sending to her daughter.
Mom is making it clear that only an Ivy League school will be good enough. She’s focusing on the one perceived imperfection in her daughter’s resume instead of celebrating all the hard work her kid has put into everything she’s doing. She’s hijacking the process and calling schools for her student. She’s not having any fun watching her accomplished daughter prepare for college, and I can’t imagine her daughter is, either.
How do you want your family to approach the process? Do you want it to be an exciting time that you enjoy together? Or do you want to be stressful, demoralizing and something you all just hope to survive?
Parents, it’s your choice. I think you know which one I recommend.