I’ve noticed something about families where the parents hijack their student’s college planning. Parents who research all the schools, fill out the applications, and edit or even re-write the essays always seem to have kids who are disengaged from their own college planning. Their kids are passive observers who sit back and wait for their parents to take care of everything college-related.
Are the kids disengaged because Mom is taking over? Or is Mom taking over because the kid is disengaged? Maybe a little bit of both.
But I can tell you that the more a parent tries to control the college application process, the less incentive your student will feel to take responsibility and the more frustrated you’re going to be. Students who let parents drive the application process are less successful at getting into the right colleges for them. And worst of all, those student will be even less prepared for college once they get there.
Use high school as a training ground for your kids to learn how to take responsibility for their own lives. Let them know that you’ll be cheering them on, always ready to guide and give advice, but that you’re not going to do everything for them. Give them a chance to bite on that freedom before you assume they’re not ready.
Here’s a past post on assessing whether your student is ready for college, and another about what to do if your student just isn’t college-ready yet.