A family having an introductory meeting with a private counselor says, “This seems really expensive.”
A boss interviewing a teenage job applicant says, “You don’t have a lot of experience.”
A parent says to a teacher, “Billy has never had trouble in a class before. I think there might be a personality conflict here.”
A student tells a rep at a college fair, “I want to be a doctor, but you don’t have a premed major.”
Those aren’t questions—those are statements. If you treat them like questions and try to answer them, it’s easy to come off defensive.
“My program doesn't cost that much more than the competition’s, my results are better, and I work with more students than anyone in the area.”
“If you call my references, they’ll tell you I’m a good worker.”
Don’t answer unasked questions. Instead, do one of two things.
1. If you agree with the statement, say so.
“You’re absolutely right. Our program is expensive.”
“That’s true. I haven’t had a lot of work experience.”
2. If you don’t agree with the statement, ask for clarification, not in a defensive way, but in a way that tries to understand why they might think what they think.
“Really? That’s interesting. Can you tell me more about why you think there might be a personality conflict?”
“Oh, you want to be a doctor? Tell me, what kind of premed program were you hoping your college would have for you?”
Either way, you’ll do a better job of addressing the concern when you understand the real question behind the statement.