Janet Lavin Rapelye, the dean of admission at Princeton, has been taking questions on The Choice blog this week. You can almost hear the anxiety in the submissions (many of which are from parents). It’s equal parts fear, uncertainty, and in many cases, resentment about just how selective Princeton is. And almost all of it is self-induced.
There’s no national law that says you have to apply to Princeton or any college that rejects almost everybody who applies. Applying to college should be an exciting time in a student’s life, one that her parents should enjoy, too. If you make the choice that the only outcome worth celebrating will be an admission to an Ivy League school, you are raising the pressure and the stakes exponentially. It’s a choice that you get to make.
Taking the SAT again because you’re worried 2100 isn’t good enough for Princeton, quitting the sport you love so you can choose an activity that better demonstrates your social skills, applying with a less popular major you’re not interested in just to improve your chances—those are decisions you make (all of those were submitted as questions). You could just as easily decide to be happy with your score, play your favorite sport, apply to the major you want, and fall in love with a college that accepts you, whether or not it’s in the Ivy League.
If you’re feeling afraid, uncertain, or angry about the college admissions process, try making different choices.