As much as teenagers may want to project otherwise, parents have an enormous amount of influence over their kids. That’s especially true with the college admissions process.
I’ve noticed that parents who focus on all the bad news about how hard it is to get into a short list of highly selective colleges often have students who aren’t particularly excited about what’s to come. Or even worse, the students feel like there’s no way they’ll be able to measure up. The parents who can find the joy in watching their student prepare for college, who focus on what their student does well, who get excited about how many great schools there are to choose from, their kids almost always seem to adopt a similar attitude.
Parents are reflectors during the college admissions process. There’s a good chance your student will take on your attitude towards it, even if your kids don’t acknowledge that they’re following your lead at least a little bit. I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t be realistic or that you should offer up empty praise in the name of being positive. But it’s good to be mindful that you’re setting an attitude example. If you’re feeling nothing but gloom and doom about the process, try changing your approach and see if your student follows suit.