Students, parents and counselors are in the throes of college admissions season right now. And as the stress ratchets up and the deadlines start closing in, this is a good time for us all to cut each other a little slack.
Parents, remember that while kids are juggling school assignments, practices and rehearsals, they’re also trying to summarize their lives and accomplishments in college applications, with deadlines approaching, knowing all the while that they’re going to be judged on that information. It’s a lot for them to take on right now. Give them a little leeway when they forget to take out the trash or when they give you the teenage cold shoulder.
Students, remember that while your parents so badly want everything to go well for you in your college process, they’re also dealing with the impending reality that you’re going to be leaving home for good soon. It’s a lot for them to take on, too. Be nice to them even when you’re sure they’re nagging you about your college essays and doing things that seem like they’re trying to make your life harder. It comes from a good place.
Counselors, remember how much pressure so many students, and by connection, their parents are under. It doesn’t excuse them asking you to write a letter at the last minute or forgetting to say, “Thank you,” but stress can breed irrationality and make people do things they aren’t proud of when things calm down later.
Students and parents, remember that your counselors are in crazy season right now. They’re handling questions and transcript requests and letters of rec. They’re trying to manage the college-related neuroses of their students and parents. They’re doing what they can to help the kid who may not graduate, the student whose parents are in the middle of a bitter divorce and the spitball maker who got kicked out of math class today. They’re doing it all for kids and don’t get nearly enough thanks for it. It is a lot to take on, more than most of us will ever know.
College admissions is important and there’s no excuse for ignoring our responsibilities or treating people badly. But for the next few months, we can all do a better job if we just cut each other a little slack.