The way you decide to approach any process—especially college admissions—is much more important than the final outcome is.
Care enough about your grade in chemistry that you work as hard as you can. But if you still don’t get the “A” you wanted, be happy with your effort. You’re almost certainly smarter as a result of the work you put in, and the fact that you didn’t get an “A” shouldn’t diminish that.
Care enough about your spot on the soccer team, your role in the school play, or your chair in the school orchestra that you practice hard and make every effort to improve. But if you don’t get a starting spot, the lead, or the first chair, find a way to make a contribution in a different role. And be OK with that. The hard work and different experience will both teach you something.
Care enough about your college future that you take challenging classes, study and approach the application process seriously. But if you get an admissions rejection from your dream school, shake it off and recognize that another college that had the good sense to say “Yes!” can still give you a great college experience. The process—all the hard work and learning you did to get there—will pay off no matter which colleges admit you.
The most successful college applicants I’ve met worked hard enough during their process that they could relax and accept any outcome.