Last month, I asked our Managing Editor, Mamie Cosentino, to pen a series of short emails with tips and advice to help our essay specialists do an even better job with Collegewise students. Here's this week's entry, one that you should read whether you're writing your own college essay or helping a student find and tell her best story. (The term "McEssay" was originally coined by UVA admissions officer Parke Muth here.)
And here's Mamie…
Every now and then, I’ll stumble across a “McEssay-ish” line and think, “Where did you come from?” Collegewise kids have been trained to avoid McEssays (and so have we), but young writers tend to fall back on a clichéd line, sometimes because they think it sounds good, and sometimes because they just don’t know how to say it differently. But we can help. Nine times out of ten, asking for specific details will help improve a line (and an essay). Here’s how I do it:
• Student’s line: “All my hard work paid off.”
My comment: Can you describe the actual “work” you did? Specific examples will be really helpful!
• Student’s line: “I learned valuable life lessons.”
My comment: Can you tell me about one specific lesson you learned?
• Student’s line: “I like to think outside the box.”
My comment: Can you include one specific example of a time you thought differently from most other kids your age?
If a kid can’t respond to these comments, and can’t improve the line, it’s probably better to cut it and move in another direction. No harm, no foul, no fries with that McEssay.