For parents: is your student ready for college?

Every year at Collegewise, we work with some “C” students who go on to flourish in college (especially when they’re at the right colleges).  But while there are literally hundreds of schools that will happily
admit an average student, that doesn’t mean that every average student is ready for college.   It can be a hard fact for some parents to face, but assessing college readiness is an important step in deciding not just where, but also if, your student should attend college.

When we’re working with a student who might not be ready for college, here are five questions we ask parents to help them make their own assessment.

1.  Does your student want to go to college?

If you’re wondering if a student is ready to go to college, the first step is toask him if he wants to go.  A lot of students grow up with the expectation that they will go to college but are never actually asked if that’s something they want for themselves.  If your student tells you he doesn’t want to go, at least you know that the issue you’re facing is bigger than his unwillingness to research colleges or fill out
applications.  And with the real issue in the open, you can discuss his reluctance to attend.   

2. Are you doing everything college-related for your student?

It’s normal for some parents to feel like you care more about researching colleges or planning college visits than your student does.  But if your student is so disengaged in the process that you have to take over everything college-related, including filling out college applications, that’s a sign that you care much more about this than your student does.

I understand why a parent would take on that responsibility; you worry that your student will wake up 2-3 years from now and wish she’d chosen to be more serious about her college plans.  But college students need to be responsible for themselves–from waking up on time, to turning in assignments by the deadline, to reaching out and asking for help when they need it.  If you’re student isn’t willing to take on or at least share the responsibility associated with applying to college, that’s a sign that she might not be ready for the responsibility required to manage her life as a college student.

3.  Has your student needed to repeat core classes in order to graduate from high school?

One D in calculus (I came close, too) just means your student probably shouldn’t be a math major. But if a student isn’t able to pass (and needs to repeat) multiple core classes in high school in order to
graduate on time, you should consider whether that student is ready for the demands of college academics.  Yes, the right college can give a formerly average student the chance to succeed academically.  But when we see a student who’s had to repeat courses like English, lower level math, or introductory language courses, it’s time to asses whether those deficiencies are due to a lack of effort, or real academic deficiencies that need to be addressed before college.

4.  Has your student had disciplinary problems during high school?

Even good kids occasionally come home a little past curfew.  But for a student who has multiple suspensions from school, or a continuing problem with drugs or alcohol, or repeated infractions at home or at school, a parent needs to consider what’s going to happen to that student when he’s on a college campus with nobody to watch over him.  I’m not suggesting that any kid who’s had a rough patch should be penalized and prevented from attending college.  But as a parent paying for your kid’s college education, you’re making an investment in your son or daughter. Students who are college ready have demonstrated the appropriate maturity and a readiness for the independence of college life.  If your student hasn’t shown you those signs, you might consider delaying your investment.

5. Does it just not feel right to you?

Sometimes a parent just knows that college isn’t the right choice for their student at this time. That feeling might come from a combination of the above four factors, or it might just be parental gut instinct. If you have that gut feeling, refer back to #1.  Ask your student if he wants to go.  If he says, “Yes,” ask him to tell you more.  Make sure he’s not just giving you the answer he thinks you want to hear.  Parents know their own kids better than anyone, and it’s important for you to listen to your instincts before you send your kids to college.

In tomorrow’s post, I’ll share some steps parents can take if you decide your student just isn’t ready for college.