Five New Year’s resolutions for high school students

A lot of high school students are going to make New Year's Resolutions like, "Get a 3.8 GPA next semester" and, "Spend more time studying for my SATs."  I think those are commendable goals.  But I'd like to invite you to make some resolutions that will not only improve your chances of getting into college, but will also make you happier and more confident along the way.

Here are five resolutions that would improve the life of just about any high school student. 

1. Be excited about the opportunity to go to college…any college. I'm not saying you should give up and just be happy with any college that takes you.  I'm saying that if you decide there are only three colleges where you could ever be happy, that puts an awful lot of pressure on yourself.  The hard work you're doing in and out of school shouldn't just be about trying to get into Stanford.  It should be about learning, finding your passions, and enjoying your teenage years.  Wherever you go to college, you're going to meet new people, learn and have fun. That's reason enough to be excited.  So, keep working hard, but try to enjoy yourself while you're doing it. 

2. Quit something worth quitting this year.   Almost everyone has something in their life that's not making your life any better, something in which you're just going through the motions, or that's actually making you unhappy or unhealthy.  Identify one of those things in your life and quit.  Quit it today and replace it with something that improves your life.  If you used to love swimming but now you secretly dread it every day, quit and take the art classes you've been dying to take.  If you're tired of hanging out with kids who aren't nice to each other, quit the group and find nicer friends.  The message here isn't to quit and do nothing.  It's to replace the thing you quit with something more positive and productive.  Happy and successful people do that all the time.

3. Stop getting caught up in high school drama.  Some parts of high school are wonderful.  Other parts, not so much–like the popularity contests, backbiting, and social insecurity.  The happiest and most well-adjusted students I've met don't engage in the negative dramas of high school.  They're happy being themselves and don't care what other people think of them.  They're nice to the kids other students aren't nice to.  They don't gossip or speak badly of their friends or worry about what's popular.  It's hard to disassociate from the social dramas of high school, but you'll be much happier if you do.  And believe me, once you get to college, you'll see for yourself just how petty a lot of the bad parts of high school really were.

4. Do more things for yourself that your parents have been doing for you.  When you make your parents do things for you that you can and should be doing for yourself, you're making it easy and maybe even necessary for them to run your life.  If you're having trouble in a class, don't make your parents contact the teacher.  If you have scheduling conflicts, don't make your parents talk to your counselor to resolve them.  If you have questions about a college's application requirements, don't make your parents get that information for you.  These are things you can and should be doing for yourself.  So start doing them.  You'll be happier, your relationship with your parents will improve, and the colleges will be appreciative of your independence. 

5.  Look for ways to make an impact. One of the best ways to feel good about yourself (and frankly, to get into college) is to find ways to make an impact.  You don't have to be the captain of your soccer team to host the team dinner.  You don't have to be the smartest kid in your English class to participate and contribute to class discussions.  And you don't have to be the editor of the school paper to take a journalism class over the summer and then share what you learned.  Titles, leadership positions and awards aren't the only ways to demonstrate that you're valuable and appreciated.  If you make efforts to contribute and try to make an impact, you'll feel good about how you're spending your time–and people around you will take notice.    

Happy New Year…