Search Results for: potential

Transparency

I needed to reserve a meeting room for a training I’ll be holding for Collegewisers in Seattle. So I went online and tried to use a popular workspace rental company. Before I clicked “Get a Quote,” I decided to click on the “Terms and Conditions” just to see what I was agreeing to.

Among other things, just asking how much a room costs meant that I was agreeing to:

  • receive telephone calls and text messages, even if I’m on a Do-Not-Call list
  • receive telephone calls for the purpose of marketing
  • receive e-mails
  • receive phone calls placed by an automatic telephone number dialing system
  • receive telephone communications containing pre-recorded messages
  • receive calls from contractors and third-party companies

I can’t imagine someone willingly agreeing to that arrangement, which is exactly why the company hides it, makes it the potential customer’s responsibility to unearth it, and then tricks people into agreeing to it.

Imagine how absurd this would be in our personal lives.

Thanks for asking me to go out on a date with you. If you had taken the time to learn about my terms and conditions, you’d know that you’ve now given me permission to call, text, or email you whenever I feel like it even if you start dating someone else. You’ve also agreed to let my friends, relatives, and even a computer call you on my behalf. And sometimes it won’t even be a real person calling—just a recording of something I, not you, think is important. And you’ve agreed to let me keep doing those things until you fill out a form expressly telling me to stop (at which point I’ll gladly comply in 5-7 business days).

Sound ridiculous? Maybe even a little underhanded and creepy? Yes, and that’s the point.

Spam has become so rampant that too many businesses, colleges, and organizations seem to just accept that it’s OK to engage it. But that’s the classic “Everybody’s doing it!” argument. Your customers deserve better than this. You deserve better than this. Any campaign or tactic that tricks people into doing something is only going to make it harder for them to trust you in the future.

“Transparency” is one of those business clichés that’s completely lost its oomph. But the sentiment is still a good one. Would your business, school, or organization be proud to stand up and say publicly, “Here’s what we’re doing, and here’s why we’re doing it”? If the answer is yes, you’re on the right track. But if the answer is no, and even worse, if it’s something you’d feel compelled to hide, that’s a good reason to reconsider.

Look for the teaching moments

One of a parent’s most important goals during the high school years should be to prepare their student for life on his or her own, without managing every decision, challenge, and uncertainty. It’s not that you’ll ever stop being a parent—it’s a lifetime gig and your kids won’t ever stop needing you. But unless you plan on moving into the dorm next door (not a good idea), the roles, both yours and your student’s, are going to change. The high school years are the perfect opportunity to prepare by looking for the teaching moments.

“Can you take care of this?”
The first step is to look for opportunities to stop doing for your kids those things that they could do for themselves. That’s the teaching moment. Start by asking them more questions and to describe what they’re facing. If they’re having trouble in a class and want you to talk to their teacher for them, ask them to tell you more about what kind of trouble they’re having, how long it’s been a problem, and what they’ve tried so far. Questions like these move kids from dropping a situation on your plate–and waiting for you to fix it–to examining what’s facing them. They can’t find the answers if they don’t first learn how to examine the problems.

“What do you think I should do?”
As kids get better at assessing what’s facing them, they’ll move to seeking your advice. “Can you take care of this?” will become, “What do you think I should do?” Instead of just answering the question, use it as a teaching moment. Ask if they’ve tried anything to solve it themselves, and if not, what they’ve considered. Help them think through their options, and explain your thinking, too, as you come up with an answer together. The goal is to move them from asking you for a solution to presenting you with one they found themselves.

“Here’s what I’m going to do.”
As their confidence builds, kids will begin coming to you to share not just a problem, but also their intended solution. It’s a way of checking in to make sure they’re not missing a better option or making an irreversible mistake. The teaching moment presented here is to highlight what they’re doing right, even if you don’t entirely agree with the course of action. If they’re examining the challenge, considering solutions, and showing the initiative to make a choice, they’re on the right path. Remember, the goal isn’t necessarily for them to do everything perfectly the first time. It’s to learn from these experiences, and that means that some lessons will sting more than others. Have faith that while you’re not protecting them from every potential disappointment, you’re setting them up for independence, success, and happiness.

“Here’s what I did.”
Eventually, one of two things will happen. Your kids will either begin coming to you to share how they’ve handled what’s faced them, or they’ll stop sharing updates at all because they’ve learned to take care of those things that formerly resided on your docket. Both scenarios are parental victories. When you do learn of these instances, praise the effort and thinking even if the outcome wasn’t perfect. That’s your teaching moment, and it will only increase their confidence in themselves and their trust that you’re still looking out for them even if you’re no longer their manager, assistant, and publicist.

It’s a process, one that takes faith in your parenting and in your own son or daughter. And like most parts of parenting, there’s no short class to take to learn exactly how to do it. But the good news is that while there may not always be a right answer, there will be plenty of available teaching moments.

Counselors: Try more “Here’s why…”

Counselors guiding students through the college admissions process have to spend a lot of time discussing what, when, and how to do things.

Here’s what you should do this summer…

Here’s when you should sit for the SAT…

Here’s how to plan a college visit…

But if you want your students to be even more engaged, if possible, spend a little less time on the what, when, and how, and a little more time on the why.

Based on what you’ve told me, here’s why a part-time job sounds like the option that would be best for you this summer.

Here’s why taking the SAT this spring will help you make better future testing decisions without sacrificing your time with the swim team…

Here’s why I think visiting these particular colleges will give you a better sense of other schools to potentially add to your list…

Over time, the whys can become so obvious to counselors that we see them as a given. And with both students and parents asking us what, when, and how to do things, we learn that just answering their questions often sends them away satisfied with our guidance.

But families going through this process can become jaded, often feeling like their every decision is measured only by whether or not it satisfied a stated or implied requirement that makes them more college competitive.

That’s what makes the whys so important. The whys rarely stop at, “Because that’s what College X wants.” Whys get to the heart of what’s best for each particular student, not just in terms of getting them closer to college, but also in helping them make decisions that will keep them happy, productive, and engaged. Whys remind students that their high school years shouldn’t only be about satisfying colleges, and that there is almost always some real purpose behind all this college prep.

If you want to help your students be more engaged, try to send them away from your next meeting not just clear about “Here’s what I’m going to do,” but also “Here’s why I’m going to do it.”

How to give better answers to frequently asked questions

Since entrepreneur and author Derek Sivers sold his company, CD Baby, in 2008 for $22M, he’s been inviting—and happily answering—questions over email about business, productivity, and life. After answering a total of 192,000 emails from 78,000 people, Sivers finally announced at the close of 2016 that he was no longer taking questions. But he left his readers and fans with this FAQ page, which I found interesting for two reasons.

1. His FAQs are about the askers, not the answerer.
Too many FAQ sections are actually just promotional material masquerading as frequently requested answers. I’ve never once had a student ask, “What year was College X founded?” Yet I’ve seen that supposed frequently asked question pop up on multiple colleges’ FAQ sections. The same can be said of “What is Y Corporation’s mission?” or “What accolades has Individual Z received?” Sivers isn’t promoting himself at all—in fact, many of the answers really just decline offers for speaking, investing, interviews, etc. Instead, he seems to have chosen the 21 questions that were in fact the most frequently asked. He may be disappointing a lot of people by not personally replying with an answer, but he’s dramatically increased the likelihood that subsequent visitors will actually find the answer they’re looking for.

2. He tries to leave people better off than when they arrived.
Yes, some of his replies are just no’s—he won’t promote your product, he won’t invest in your idea, he won’t be on your podcast (for now). But far more of his responses include recommendations for his favorite book on that topic, helpful advice, or another resource to leave the visitor better off than they would have been with, “That’s too complicated to answer over email,” or even worse, no answer at all. And while the replies aren’t lengthy, I got the sense that many of those answers might be the same that he’d offer to a close friend or family member. Sivers may not be replying personally to each inquiry. But that FAQ page will allow him to help people for a long time.

If you’re a counselor, administrator, teacher, head of an organization, or anyone else who answers many of the same questions over and over again, you likely can’t just stop answering them and let an FAQ do all the work for you. But you could create an FAQ to cut down on your repeat answer performances, and even to extend your service by not making people wait for a helpful reply that could just as easily and effectively have been handled with an FAQ.

Private counselors, what if you took the most common questions potential clients ask and posted an FAQ with honest, direct, helpful answers? “How are you different from your competition?” could include links to your competitors’ websites along with a recommendation that families interview multiple counselors and choose the one that seems to be the best fit. “What type of students do you work with?” could include information not just about your typical student, but also the types of students you don’t typically serve, along with recommendations for where those kids could find good information or support. Imagine the tone this would set for a visitor who’s just arriving at your website and is already being helped before even speaking with you.

High school counselors, what if you picked the 10-20 questions you get most often and posted the most helpful, honest answers you could write, the type you would share if the parent or student were actually a relative? How well-served would your families feel, and more importantly, how much time might you get back to get other work done?

Teachers, what questions do you answer repeatedly from students and parents? You could even turn your answers into mini articles, like, “The best ways to improve your writing,” or “The five best ways to improve your grade in my class,” or “What to do if you need extra help.” Yes, you could still reply to each inquiry and personalize both the message and the advice. But you could also let the article do the work for you when it comes down to repeating the advice that you’ve shared many times before.

Colleges, I’ve even written a past post on how to improve your own FAQ sections.

Good questions deserve good answers. But it’s almost impossible to answer a particular question with the same attention and care the hundredth time as you did the first five times. When those questions cause your energy and enthusiasm to wane, consider adding that query—and the best possible reply—to your “FAQs.” You’ll give better answers, you’ll leave people better off, and you’ll have more time to answer those personal, nuanced questions that aren’t so frequently asked.

Suggested 2017 activity adjustments

One of the most prevalent symptoms of college admissions mania is overscheduling. Too many kids just have too much to do. And while you can’t decide to stop going to school, and you probably shouldn’t decide to stop studying, it’s possible that some of your activities just aren’t adding much to your life. And if they aren’t adding value for you, they won’t bring value to your college applications.

As you begin 2017, I’d encourage every student, especially those freshmen, sophomores, and juniors who may still be exploring and identifying which activities mean the most to them, to evaluate how you are choosing to spend your time and to consider doing less.

I’ve written extensively about the dangers of overscheduling, and the potential value of quitting. So for those who are new or who weren’t readers when these posts went up on the blog, here are a few suggested reads to get you up to speed.

First, a past post on how to evaluate your activities.

Here’s one that illustrates the college admissions risk of overscheduling, and another to help you identify if you’re too busy being busy.

Here are two posts, here and here, on the potential value of quitting, and a third that encourages you to make sure that the benefits of quitting for you don’t become punishments for other people.

Chosen and done right, your extracurricular activities should be among the most enjoyable parts of high school. But getting there can sometimes mean making adjustments. You don’t always know whether or not an activity will make you happy when you start it. So use this fresh start of 2017 to take a look at what you’re doing and decide if you might benefit from making different—or fewer—choices about what to do.

Five traits that will help you win outside scholarships

Outside scholarships are awards from private companies and foundations rather than from the colleges themselves. They typically require separate applications that can also include essays, letters of recommendation, and even interviews. While the majority of money that helps students pay for college comes from filing a FAFSA and applying for need-based financial aid, every extra monetary boost can help. If you’re applying for outside scholarships, here are five traits to demonstrate if you want to increase your odds of winning.

1. Matchmaking
Like choosing colleges where you’re a good fit, the best way to win scholarships is to apply for those you’re most likely to win. Use a free matching site like Scholarships.com (never pay for a scholarship matching service—all that information is available for free). Answer their profile questions as thoroughly as possible to get more accurate matching results. And pay very close attention not just to the eligibility requirements, but also the descriptions of what types of students the organization is looking to honor. For example, a scholarship from the local fire department that’s intended for “a student who’s shown outstanding commitment to their community” is not going to go to someone who participated in just one blood drive. Match your accomplishments, strengths, goals, etc. to the scholarships intended to reward what you have to offer.

2. Passion
I write here often that passion is contagious. An admissions officer—or a scholarship reader—won’t care about what you’re sharing if you don’t care about it yourself. Don’t hide how much you love math, debate, or your church. Don’t restrain yourself from expressing just how much you care about helping the homeless, coaching youth baseball, or restoring old cars. The descriptions of these activities are the “what,” but the feelings behind them are the “why.” And the why—when it’s strong—is where the passion is.

3. Potential
Potential is promise that has not yet been fully realized. And coupled with the appropriate qualifications and passion, it’s an enticing trait for scholarship readers. I’ve written a past post about how to demonstrate potential as you progress through high school. Now that you’re applying for scholarships, use the same post to help you identify examples of potential worth sharing.

4. Ambition
Ambition is the “strong desire to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.” The best way to express that ambition in a scholarship application is to focus not just on what you want to achieve, but also what you’re willing to do, and what you’ve already done to get there. Just saying that you want to be the CEO of a corporation someday is not ambition. But expressing that goal, then describing how you want to learn about business through both a major and internships while in college, then illustrating how many business books you’ve already read as a high school student while also working a part-time job and rising through the ranks to become an assistant manager at a local store–that’s ambition. See the difference?

5. Marketability
Outside scholarship providers want to highlight the students they reward (thereby not-so-subtly announcing that the provider has generously provided a scholarship). Presentation matters. Keep your online presence clean. Have a simple, intelligible outgoing message on your phone. If the application requires an interview, don’t show up in yoga pants and flip-flops. I’m not suggesting that outside scholarships go only to those students who look a certain way. But every little bit helps. So while you should always be yourself, and never apologize for that, there’s nothing wrong with bringing the best authentic version of yourself to the scholarship application process.

Decisions, decisions

If you ask someone on a date and they decline, does that necessarily mean that you couldn’t have been good together? Does it mean that you have nothing to offer or that you just aren’t datable at all? No. It just means that based on the limited information on hand and the imperfect art of dating decisions, they didn’t see the fit that you saw. A confident person has to move on and embrace that clichéd but ultimately true saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea. And being a good, interesting, compelling person just increases the chances of getting a bite later.

What about the working professional who interviews for a position at a different company but doesn’t get the gig? Does that mean they weren’t qualified? Does it mean that if given a chance, they never could have done the job, maybe even as well as or better than the person who got picked? Does it mean they can’t be successful somewhere else? Of course not. Cover letters and resumes and job interviews have their limitations. Unless the company had a trial period where job-seekers could actually try the role for 3-6 months, there’s no way for a person in charge to know with absolute certainty who the right—or wrong—person is. It’s not a perfect system. And the smart, hard-working, accomplished professional has reason to keep the faith that they’ll end up at a place that’s right for them.

College admissions works the same way.

Colleges that require nothing more than transcripts and test scores are close to a meritocracy where the highest numbers win. But all those other schools that look at some combination of other things like activities, awards and honors, essays, letters of rec, or interviews are making more complex decisions. And especially at those schools that have to turn away many more applicants than they accept, deciding who gets a yes and who gets a no is difficult.

Some families think it’s random—a crapshoot at best. It’s not. In fact, admissions officers work very hard to fairly and thoroughly evaluate every applicant. But it’s a complex and sometimes imperfect process. Like dating and job-hunting, decisions that sting can be hard to take. They can feel bitterly personal. But the confident student has to believe enough in herself to know that a denial from one school is not an indictment of her accomplishments, a statement about her potential, or an indicator that she won’t be successful someplace else.

Students who are applying to college, I know it can feel intimidating and even unfair to package up your high school life into applications that could never fully encapsulate you, then leave the decisions of where you get in and don’t to people who have never met you and could never possibly understand everything about what you have to offer.

But you should keep the faith in two things.

First, remember that most admissions officers are, by nature, good people who work very hard to treat applicants with respect. They would much rather admit than deny you. And even when their realities dictate that they have to turn away students who are qualified and could absolutely do the work, they’ll make every effort to give you a fair and thorough read before they reach a decision.

And more importantly, remember that like dating, job searching, and other scenarios where other people make choices about you, they only get to control this one decision. They don’t get to control what you do next, where you do it, or whom you do it with.

Those decisions are the important ones. And those decisions are all yours.

Courage, responsibility, and credit

Before he became a New York Times columnist and bestselling author of 20 successful cookbooks, Mark Bittman was just a guy who wanted to work as a writer. He approached the editor of his local paper in Massachusetts and confidently proposed that he could do a better job than the paper’s current restaurant reviewer. The editor told him to come back the next day with a review and prove it. It worked, and that first cooking piece was published in 1980.

Jason Fried is the founder and president of Basecamp, the company behind the popular project management software of the same name. But he started as a freelance web designer in the late 90s. To win his first clients, he studied various companies’ websites, sent the CEOs emails pointing out what was wrong with their current designs, and included a mock-up of how he could improve them. That strategy won him his first clients—large companies that paid him big bucks.

These, and so many other stories of how successful people got their starts, have a few things in common.

1. They weren’t afraid to try…or to fail.
It took some guts for Bittman and Fried to boldly claim they could do it better. But what were they really risking? The editor could have passed. The CEO could have said, “I like our current design better.” But other than hearing the (temporary) sting of “No,” neither Bittman nor Fried would have suffered any lasting damage. But the fact that they weren’t afraid to try or to fail, no matter how many times it took for them to get what they hoped for, is what improved their odds and ultimately helped them be successful. If you want to be successful, you’ve got to be willing to try, to fail, and then to keep trying if necessary.

2. They shouldered the responsibility.
Bittman didn’t ask the editor to hire him before he wrote the piece. Fried didn’t require a deposit for the work he’d already completed before he shared his ideas with the CEOs. That approach didn’t just mean that Bittman and Fried were shouldering all of the responsibility; it also meant that the people in charge had nothing to lose. The more responsibility you take for your own project, the more willing you are to take the blame if it doesn’t go well, the better the chances that you’ll get to do exactly what you want to do.

3. They deflected credit.
Bittman and Fried actually made those in charge look good. Sure, Bittman got his name on that first article, but the editor must have looked good to his bosses for finding an undiscovered—and better—restaurant critic. The CEOs who gave Fried a shot got to claim the foresight in retaining someone who could improve their company’s website.

If you’re looking for a chance, an opportunity, or just the approval to try an idea within an organization:

• Have the courage to try and potentially fail.
• Accept all responsibility, and the blame if it doesn’t work.
• If it works, deflect the credit to those who gave you a chance.

Do this often enough and the practice, along with the subsequent success, will probably become a good habit.

Private counselors: five holiday service extensions

Private counselors, there’s nothing wrong with sending a traditional holiday card to your customers. But there’s nothing particularly noteworthy about it, either. And most cards from businesses end up in the recycling bin anyway. So why not send something with more lift and a longer shelf life? Here are five holiday service extensions your customers will appreciate.

1. Pick up the phone.
Yes, much of communication is emailing and texting these days, and it’s a nice way to connect with families. But why not check in by phone before the holidays begin in full swing? You can remind them of final to-dos, offer to address any lingering questions or concerns, or even just wish them well and tell them what the next step will be in the new year. A phone call communicates that they’re not just a customer on a long list, and that you’re genuinely invested in them and in their student’s future. And heading off those questions or concerns at the pass makes it less likely you’ll get a panicked inquiry during your holiday time.

2. Express your sincere gratitude.
Have you enjoyed working with this student? What has impressed you or made you proud of them? What progress have they made, growth have you seen, or potential have they shown? Whatever the answer, write a short card and send it home to Mom and Dad. Sincere praise is the best praise, and I’ve never met a parent who doesn’t like hearing nice things about their kid.

3. Share a photo of a significant senior accomplishment.
Got a senior who’s submitting her final application? Adding their improved test scores to an application?  Clicking “Save” for the last time on an essay? Snap a photo of the moment and send it to the parents.

4. Help your student write a holiday card to their parents.
Imagine a parent receiving a holiday card from their own child detailing what they’ve been up to with their college counselor, and thanking their parents for supporting their college dreams. The card need not be more than a few sentences. But I promise you this will be one card that’s a keeper.

5. Offer a personal gift certificate.
Ask each of your students where their family goes out to eat together, or to name a family activity they all enjoy. Then send along a gift certificate to pitch in and help them enjoy it together. The amount doesn’t need to be big. It’s the (personal) thought that counts.

 

Determination: friend or foe?

I love the show Shark Tank. Budding entrepreneurs pitch their business—and offer a stake in their company—to the cast of multi-millionaire and billionaire tycoons (the sharks) in exchange for an investment. It’s entertaining, it’s educational, and it’s helped to launch hundreds of successful businesses. But every now and then, an entrepreneur will present a business that’s just not working. And that’s when the show gets a little sad.

Lots of ideas don’t work when turned into a business, and there’s no shame in trying and failing. But some of those business owners have invested tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars into their idea. Some have taken out second mortgages on their homes. Some have borrowed money from friends or family. They’re out of options, time, and money. Not surprisingly, the sharks almost always pass on these pitches and advise that it’s time to give up on this particular idea.

And almost every time, the next clip shown is of the dejected entrepreneur vowing to never give up.

Dogged determination is a necessary trait to be successful in just about anything. But when that sheer relentlessness prevents someone from facing facts, when it drives them to give up more money, time, or energy than they can afford, when it prevents them from redirecting to something potentially more successful and personally fulfilling, determination becomes a foe rather than a friend.

I often see determination’s transition from friend to foe during the college admissions process. The student whose SAT score has stalled after three tries, and who wants to do yet another round of expensive test prep. The student who refuses to look at more realistic schools and instead keeps searching for a way to get into a highly selective college. The student who won’t accept a college’s denial, who wages an appeal campaign and won’t even consider any of the available college options on the table. Their determination is admirable. And it will help them achieve a lot of things in the future. But in these scenarios, that determination is holding them back from achieving many other more realistic—and likely just as rewarding—goals.

It’s far better to have determination than not to. And there’s no formula to identify when it’s time to move from determination to acquiescence. But you can start by simply facing facts. What do the facts tell you? What do people who know you and love you advise? What does your counselor think you should do?

And most importantly, if you kept pursuing this goal and never achieved it, would you be proud of yourself for trying so hard? Or would you regret what you gave up to stay so determined?

Determination is a great friend. But if it stops acting in your best interest, that friend might be turning into a foe.